


A Small Respite

by ToastyToaster22



Category: Tsubasa World Chronicle, Tsubasa: Reservoir Chronicle
Genre: Age Regression/De-Aging, Angst with a Happy Ending, Co-Sleeping, Cuddling & Snuggling, Domestic Fluff, Everyone Needs A Nap, Fai and Kurogane are good parents, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Let Mokona use the NCHA CANON, M/M, Mokona gets to defend Mokona's family, Oh this got SOFT, Spirits, Syaoran is the smollest bean, heavier angst than originally planned, oops guys brace yourselves this is gunna get rough in chapter 5
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-10
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-02-29 08:11:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 23,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18774706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ToastyToaster22/pseuds/ToastyToaster22
Summary: Syaoran was burning himself out, they could see it happening right in front of their eyes. Fai just wanted to see the boy smile. Take a break. He should have known better than to wish for something like that.In which some forest spirits do their best to ruin everyone's day, Mokona incinerates some trees, Kurogane is a tired dad, and Fai is overwhelmed. Syaoran just wants to play.





	1. Mokona Saves the Day

**Author's Note:**

> Annnnd suddenly I have made myself an Oreo story. Dark and angsty on both sides and a bunch of sweet fluff in the middle.

Fai hefted the bag of groceries higher on his hip, shading his eyes from the sun with his other hand.

“I do believe we’ve gotten ourselves a bit turned around, Kuro-rin.”

The ninja just groaned.

“How have we lasted this long when you have no damn sense of direction?”

“Well,” The magician’s smile sobered. “Syaoran was always the one reading the maps…” 

Kurogane turned his gaze to the pebbled walkway, eyes shadowed. Fai only dared to make such a comment because their own Syaoran was off in this world’s semblance of a library. It had been a little over a year their time since they had started this leg of their journey. Over a dozen worlds. Yet there had not been a single lead towards the possibility of reuniting a soul with a body. The lack of progress was taking quite the toll on the boy. Not having been able to return to Clow since their initial departure only weighed on Syaoran more. There had been no contact with Sakura since the princess-goddess of Nirai Kanai dreamed with the girl.

Syaoran had been withdrawn lately. He often emerged from his room in the morning with red rimmed eyes, from crying or lack of sleep, they didn’t know. To say they were worried about him was an understatement. Mokona stayed with him unendingly, doing Mokona’s best to give him the comfort he needed.

“Just ask for directions,” Kurogane grumbled, stalking off towards a vendor selling grains.

Fai shook his head fondly and followed the ninja towards the more crowded side of the street. This world’s road system was a vast maze, the pattern of the streets creating an intricate sun design when seen from above. The residents had long since memorized the layout, ambling around with no difficulty.

It had taken Kurogane and Fai no time at all to get lost.

They approached an older gentleman at a stall sagging under the weight of many types of powders and grain.

“Excuse me!” The wizard waved. “We are looking for the library. I’m afraid we’re new to the area and could use a hand.”

The grain salesman laughed, wiping his hands on his apron.

“Of course. Here, let me get you a card, unless you have one already?” 

Fai shook his head, not sure what the vendor meant by that.

The balding man knelt down and shifted a few bags on the bottom shelf of his cart.

“If you’re staying in town your inn should have been handing them out at the front desk, but- Ah, here we are,” He stood and raised a small stiff paper to show the travelers. It was patterned with the same sun design as the town. “Now you’re here,” He made a tiny X towards the center of the circles. “And you need to go just a few turns to the north and end up here. The library is one of the smaller buildings. Red roof; you can’t miss it.”

Fai watched the vendor draw a trail through the path on the card. It didn’t look all that far, though it was hard to tell when the map was so small scale.

“There you are. Feel free to ask for directions along the way. Everyone in town is used to visitors losing their way. There should be a stack of cards at the library that you can take,” The man handed over the map and clapped his hands. “Now, I don’t suppose you men need any wheat grain or rice?”

Fai smiled in gratitude.

“Sorry, not today. Thank you ever so much for the directions though. Much appreciated.”

“Yeah, thanks,” Kurogane said before the two of them turned and headed up the sidewalk. “This place is a pain.”

It wasn’t hard to follow the lines on the card, and it helped that major establishments marked on many of the street corners to aid in finding the most popular destinations. Even not being able to read this country’s language, Fai managed to get them pointed in the right direction.

They walked along quietly, observing the strange town. There was clearly some form of magic here, but there seemed to be a myriad of sources, traces of spells and enchantments leaking from everywhere. Somehow, they had not caught sight of anyone using magic personally, so it was possible it was just imbedded in the land itself. The town was small, lush gardens and thick forests along its edges, with mountains rising up to the north and west. To the south lay a sprawling valley, a distant ocean to the east.

The people all appeared to be at ease in spite of the huge amounts of energy that swirled through the air.

“You think the kid’ll find anything here?” Kurogane asked lowly.

Fai closed his eyes briefly against the thought of the boy having to leave another world behind with no further information.

“Is it even possible to bring the kid and the princess back?” The ninja added, even more quietly.

Pausing on the sidewalk under the pretense of checking their map, Fai sighed.

“If you had asked me before all of this started, if I thought it were possible to give a body back to a detached soul… I would have said no. And yet Syaoran is here with us now, and he has ripped his heart in two and given half of it to another. He’s had his existence doubled and created Watanuki from nothing. He’s had his time turned back and survived his heart returning to him. He’s been to the edge of death’s door and come back. If anyone could figure out a way to do it, Syaoran could.”

He started walking again, the mood between them contrasting sharply with the sunshine beating down on them and the frequent singing of birds overhead.

“How impossible do you think it’d be to get him to take a break for a world or two?” Kurogane grimaced.

Fai gave a short, bitter laugh.

“That child has been working towards a goal since he was old enough to walk. I don’t think he’d know what to do with himself if he weren’t focused on a mission.”

“He’s going to burn himself out.”

“You think I’m not aware of that? Have you seen him the last week? I just don’t think there is anything we could say that would convince him to relax,” Fai said, waving for them to turn right.

Kurogane growled, stomping ahead like a thunderhead, his dark cape flowing behind him.

“Stupid kid…”

A smile crept back onto Fai’s face, hastening to catch up to his companion.

“Come on, Kuro-sama. Let’s collect our son from the library and drag him back to the rooms. Maybe if you sit on him long enough, he’ll give in and take a nap.”

It was a testament to how worried the ninja was when his only response was a grunt.

* * *

“He left?” Kurogane balked.

Fai’s brows furrowed. That was unlike Syaoran. He knew better than to run off without them. A different kind of worry pooled in his gut. Either something very good or very bad must have happened for him not to wait until they came to get him like they had agreed.

“Um, yes,” The desk attendant shrank under their intense gaze. “I only remembered him because he left without putting his books away. He had been very respectful when he arrived, making sure to ask all the library rules, but then he ran out suddenly and left everything out. Its not much of a problem, but it seemed odd to me. That and the little white spirit that was with him,” She ran her fingers over the edge of her desk nervously.

“Can you show us what he was looking at?” Fai asked.

“Yes, I was in the middle of restocking when he left, so I haven’t had a chance to clean up his table. Its over this way.”

The mage and the ninja trailed the young woman to a table a few rows of shelves away. It was scattered with a handful of ancient looking tomes, two newer books sitting off to the side. One of the older books was still open, a pencil stopping the pages from turning.

Kurogane scowled.

“I can’t read any of this.”

Fai leaned over the desk, squinting at the text crossly. 

“I can make out a word here and there, but not enough to gather any meaning from it.”

The librarian hummed, a tiny, anxious sound.

“What is it?” Fai righted himself.

The woman’s eyes roved the collection of books, fingers coming up to press to her lips.

“Its… You are traveling, correct? It’s a small town and I haven’t seen you before, and you can’t read our language…”

“Yeah, what of it?” Kurogane snapped, but not out of anger.

“He was researching The Cradle Pool. Its like a… how have I heard foreigners put it? Its ah- Like the Fountain of Youth?”

A pit formed in Fai’s stomach at the unsettling look on her face.

“A local legend?” The ninja speculated.

The young woman shook her head, her long braid bouncing on her back.

“Its real. Its up in the northern woods. An hour or so from the city gates. I- Authors like to romanticize it. They’re always writing things like uh, this here,” She pointed to a line towards the bottom of one of the open pages. “’Brings life to the lifeless’, and how it’s a natural wonder, guarded by spirits who only let the oldest and purest souls be revitalized.”

“By your tone, I’m guessing that isn’t the case?” Fai breathed, exchanging an apprehensive glance with Kurogane.

“Locals have learned its best to leave the pool be. Its not worth the risk. While its technically the truth that if one enters the waters, they can emerge young again, that’s not often what actually happens. The spirits that live in the northern forest are more like imps than guardians. They’re as likely to chase someone away as they are to hold someone in long enough for them to get so young that they wink out of existence. People have traveled from great distances to investigate it, only to never be heard from again. Others have come down from the hills, young again and cocky, boasting that they were allowed to use the pool’s healing powers, only to wake up days or weeks later back to their original age or even older. Some think the water itself is sentient.”

Fai swallowed, feeling like his lungs weren’t getting enough air.

“The kid isn’t that much of an idiot,” Kurogane sounded unsure.

“He’s desperate…” Fai said slowly. “If it said something about bringing life to the lifeless. If the book talked about souls…”

“How do we get there?” Kurogane demanded, brandishing a blank map and pencil at the startled woman. Fai blinked, he must have missed Kurogane grabbing more map cards when they came in.

The path out of the town was drawn out quickly, with shaky hands.

“I hope you get there in time,” The librarian’s voice faded as they hurried towards the exit. “He was a really sweet kid.”

* * *

They rushed through the forest, due north. Fai had never been so grateful for a worn footpath to exist, but with it they knew they were at least heading in the right direction. The trees around them grew taller and wilder, vines snaked around branches and strange floral smells wove down from the mountains. Here and there Fai spotted a flicker of movement. 

There were spirits here.

The feeling of magic on the air intensified, and Fai wondered if the strong energies in the town were actually just making their way down to the valley from here.

Winded from their long run, Fai almost didn’t hear the voices over his own breathing.

Kurogane slammed to a stop, wrenching the mage back by the arm.

“Listen.”

Fai had to hold his breath to make it out, but sure enough, a soft voice was coming through the trees ahead of them.

The ninja stepped forward silently, motioning for Fai to shadow him.

They moved through the forest like ghosts, eyes widening when the foliage above them opened up to let sunshine pour down onto the wooded ground. A large pond shimmered in the middle of it, light flickering off the ripples the wind stirred up. 

In front of it stood Syaoran.

Fai hated himself a little for being so relieved when everything about the boy’s posture screamed defeat. His head hung low, his shoulders were drooping, and when Fai came to a stop, Syaoran gave an audible sniff. He raised a hand to wipe at his face and Fai’s heart broke a little. 

“O-okay, thank you…” Fai heard Syaoran say, his voice cracking. “I didn’t think so, but it couldn’t hurt to check. I appreciate you taking the time to talk with me.”

Mokona, the faithful little creature, patted the boy’s cheek.

In the slightest of movements, Kurogane put a thumb on his sword, ready to draw it. For a brief moment, Fai was confused. Syaoran was unharmed and it sounded like he had no intention of entering the pool. The mage blinked, and then a feeling of dread crawled down his spine.

In the trees. Hovering overhead. Emerging from the water. Crawling out of every shadow were spirits. Their eyes were wide, blank with innocence, and yet Fai was gripped with the sudden urge to grab Syaoran away from them and run far, far away from here.

A whisper on the breeze, and then Syaoran nodded, giving a short bow. Fai’s heart flipped at the motion, and Kurogane twitched, both clearly expecting the spirits to go for his exposed neck.

They didn’t move an inch.

Syaoran righted himself and turned away from them, face crumpling once he saw his companions at the edge of the clearing.

“Sorry- I’m sorry I didn’t wait. I don’t know what came over me, I just-“ 

Fai almost teared up himself at the heartbroken look Syaoran pinned him with.

“Its alright,” He said soothingly. “But please don’t do that again, you gave Kuro-puppy and I quite the scare, okay?”

“Yeah, kid,” Kurogane agreed, apparently too relieved to bother arguing the nickname. “Let’s hea- KID!”

Fai’s heart stopped. 

All at once, the guileless faces of the spirits turned wicked and they burst into motion. Syaoran spun, and Fai felt the familiar crackle of energy that came with him summoning lightning.

He wasn’t going to be fast enough.

Magic bled from Fai’s fingers as he wrote a shield into reality. 

The ninja rushed forward, sword drawn.

Mokona let out a scream when Kurogane’s outstretched hand missed Syaoran by a hairsbreadth. The spirits had woven themselves around the boy’s arm and yanked, jerking him backwards into the water with a splash that went much too high to be natural.

The shield stopped any enchanted water from raining down on them. 

Fai’s pulse raced. He darted toward the water, weaving protective barriers around his family like spiderwebs. The spirits writhed against them, spitting with displeasure at their targets being out of reach. A massive bear-like spirit slammed into the magic wall and Fai was alarmed to see part of his spell begin to burn and fizzle.

Just what _were_ these things?

“Get Syaoran!” He ordered to Kurogane, readying a blast. He let it loose at the surface of the pool, satisfied when it did what it was supposed to do. Water swelled up around it and then parted around Syaoran’s signature.

The ninja was in the middle of the bowl of water in an instant, his cape whipping.

A sound like fire crackling resounded around them and to Fai’s dismay his shields gave a hiss, dissolving rapidly.

The spirits in the trees fired. Blasts of pale yellow shot towards Kurogane like bullets.

“No!” Fai couldn’t cast that quickly.

“NCHA!”

The heat from the sudden blast sent Fai stumbling, bringing his arm up to protect his face from the blinding flash of light. A resounding boom echoed through the clearing over the sound of trees crashing to the forest floor. 

Disoriented, Fai staggered, eyes refocusing enough to see the spirits scattering, screaming in fear.

“Come on! This way!” Mokona cried.

Fai ran towards the creature, fears alleviated at the sight of Kurogane dashing in their direction. They stampeded through the underbrush, hoping the spirits had been intimidated enough not to pursue them.

Mokona hopped up onto Fai’s shoulder, shaking like a leaf.

“Mokona was so scared! Mokona had to use the Ncha Canon or else Kurogane and Syaoran might have been really hurt!”

“That was YOU?” Kurogane yelled. “What the hell!”

They slowed their pace when there was no sign of being chased. Fai panted, wiping sweat from his brow. He looked to Kurogane, nerves frayed. He couldn’t see Syaoran. The ninja’s heavy cloak was blocking him.

“Is he okay? Syaoran?”

Kurogane stilled, and Fai’s breath stuttered.

“What? Let me see him.”

Kurogane turned to face him fully, his arms wrapped around… No, no he was much too small. That couldn’t be.

“He was only under for a moment…” Fai breathed in disbelief. His eyes roamed over the tiny fingers, the small ears, delicate looking features on a round face. The child’s eyes were closed, a pucker to his bottom lip, but his small chest was rising and falling evenly. He was asleep.

“Syaoran is so little. Is he okay?” Mokona worried.

“The kid was already a kid. Wouldn’t take much to send him back this far,” Kurogane’s hands looked giant, holding up the little body. “Damnit kid…”

Fai lifted a hand to Syaoran’s forehead, reading the magic laced into his skin. He cursed.

“I don’t think this is anything I can fix,” He bit out.

“Someone in town will know what to do, right?” Mokona asked tearfully.

There was a quiet moment. Fai and Kurogane stared down at the unconscious child, at a loss.

Fai steeled himself.

“I guess we’ll find out.”


	2. Dad Olympics Day One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which chopsticks are hard, owls are scary, and Kuro-sama wins the Dad Olympics to Fai's total shock.

“He looks to be in fine health to me,” The doctor announced, straightening from where he had been hovering over Syaoran. He had checked the child over for injuries, listened to his breathing, looked in his ears and mouth, and checked his reflexes. Even asleep, the boy’s little leg bounced up when his knee was tapped.

“Then why is he still unconscious?” Kurogane grunted at the same time Fai asked,

“Is there anything that can be done to return him to his proper age?” 

The older man rested his hands on his hips, letting out a low whistle. He didn’t take his eyes off Syaoran.

“He’s probably exhausted. His body just underwent a significant change, and that much magic is sure to be overwhelming. I would expect him to need to rest for a while. I’d wager he’s up before night falls, but be sure to ring me if he isn’t awake by tomorrow morning,” He turned towards Fai and Kurogane. “And if there was anybody or anything in town with the power to change someone’s age, people wouldn’t bother getting themselves messed up by The Cradle Pool, now would they? Unfortunately the only thing to do is wait and see if he goes back to normal.”

Fai expected as much, but the statement was a blow regardless. They had rushed Syaoran back to their rooms, concern skyrocketing when the significant jostling wasn’t enough to wake the child. He hadn’t responded to his name or tapping on his face or hands. Mokona hadn’t been able to sense any form of distress from him, but they had sent for a doctor just in case.

“How old do you think he is, doc?” Kurogane crossed his arms.

Fai perked up, feeling Mokona do the same on his shoulder.

The man ran a hand through his salt and peppered hair.

“Judging by his teeth I would say three. He has both sets of molars, so its possible he is a little older, but probably not by much. He’s on the smaller side.”

“He wasn’t exactly big at fifteen either,” The ninja muttered.

“Three…” Fai echoed. He had no idea how to care for a three-year-old, and he’d wager a large sum that Kurogane was as clueless as he was. “Is there anything we should know? We don’t have much experience with children this young.”

The doctor shrugged, packing up his medical bag.

“Choking is the biggest hazard. Don’t give him large pieces of food or let him stick anything else in his mouth. Other than that, you should be alright. Call me if there’s any problems or complications. Now if you’ll excuse me, gentlemen.”

He took his leave, nodding to them on his way out. The door to their rooms clicked shut.

Syaoran didn’t stir.

“Three,” Fai found himself repeating, sagging to sit on the bed. His hands tightened around the lip of the mattress and he hitched a smile on his face. “Well, we did want him to take a nap, didn’t we Kuro-sama?”

Kurogane fixed him with a disapproving stare.

“Stop that.”

Fai let the smile fall. He looked to Syaoran. The boy was smaller, yes, but clearly recognizable. His hair looked finer, though it still stuck up in odd tufts against the pillow. Long eyelashes brushed against his smooth cheeks, no trace of the shadows under his eyes that had been present for weeks. 

Mokona hopped down onto the bed from Kurogane’s shoulder, moving close to the sleeping child. Ever so gently Mokona dusted Syaoran’s forehead with its paw, brushing some hair away from his eye. Mokona looked back up with a smile.

“Syaoran is really cute!” Mokona chirped.

A real smile graced Fai’s lips. That at least, he could agree with.

“Maybe. Mage, you stay with the kid and the bun. I’ll go get the groceries. Think we left them at the library. I’ll be back.”

Fai nodded. With some luck maybe the librarian had tucked the bags to the side. It would be inconvenient to have to purchase more. They didn’t have much in the way of money in this world. No one seemed to need any work done, so all they had been able to do was trade some of the items they had been keeping for such situations. It worked for now, but it wasn’t ideal.

“Bye Kurogane! We’ll guard Syaoran for you!” Mokona thumped its chest proudly.

Kurogane might have smiled.

* * *

Syaoran didn’t so much as twitch until Kurogane returned with their bags. He was in the small kitchenette, tossing some of the items that needed to be kept cool in the fridge when Fai called him.

“I think he’s waking up,” Fai frowned as the ninja entered the small bedroom.

Syaoran was squirming, his face pinching and then he let out a yawn. The sound was soft in the dead silence. His hands pulled at his shirt and his eyelids fluttered.

Heart in his throat, Fai was sure that any second his eyes would shoot open and they would have to deal with a potentially terrified or confused child. Did Syaoran remember anything? The pool? Any of their travels? Did he even remember them?

Instead Syaoran just rolled onto his side and curled up, his fingers making their way into his mouth.

“Or… not?” Fai mumbled, annoyed at himself for being frustrated. He was stressed and not knowing what their situation was going to be like was wearing on him. As much as he wanted Syaoran to rest, he also felt the urgent need to see the kid awake.

Apparently Kurogane had the same thought, because he reached out and patted the child on the back.

“Hey, none of that. Time to get up, kid.”

Syaoran whined in protest, pawing at his face clumsily. He heaved a huge sigh for a boy so small and kicked one leg out as if to push Kurogane away.

And then he blinked, peering up a them with bleary amber eyes.

A chunk of worry faded from the wizard’s heart. Even if he was younger, it was still Syaoran looking at him. The same eyes. The same soul.

“There you go, kid.”

“Syaoran is so sleepy!” Mokona giggled.

Syaoran snapped his head to the side at the close voice, eyes going wide with awe and confusion at the sight of Mokona beside him on the pillow. He scrambled up to his knees, looking down at the little creature. His mouth fell open.

“Hi Syaoran!” Mokona jumped towards him, landing at his knee and putting little paws on his leg. “How are you feeling?”

The boy only closed his mouth and peered down at Mokona, the puzzlement on his face increasing.

“Does Syaoran not remember Mokona?” Mokona sounded like it was trying not to let any sadness leak into its tone. Fai felt his heart flutter nervously.

Syaoran looked around the room, eyes hopping between Kurogane and Fai as if asking for help.

Fai gave in immediately.

“Syaoran, this is Mokona, and I am Fai. The tall guy here is Kuro-woof, but he isn’t as scary as he looks. I promise.”

“Its Kurogane, kid. You okay?”

The little boy’s head popped up, addressing the ninja.

“Yeah.”

Fai melted a bit at the sound of his voice, high and childish.

“Syaoran, can you tell us the last thing you remember?” He asked gently, hoping to get some kind of gauge of where the boy’s head was. He didn’t appear to remember them, but he was also not freaking out at waking up in a strange place with strange people.

The three-year-old pouted slightly, picking at the blanket before looking at Fai with mild annoyance.

“No.”

“What do you mean, Syaoran? You don’t want to tell us, or you don’t remember anything?” He continued worriedly.

 _“No,”_ Syaoran whined, hunching his shoulders towards his ears.

Mildly alarmed at the signs of distress, Fai didn’t know whether to reach out.

“Syaora-“

“Stop it,” The boy demanded, leaning away from the mage. 

“Kid.”

Syaoran jerked to attention, his big eyes finding Kurogane’s. The agitation dropped away from his posture.

“Kid, what’s the matter?”

Syaoran side-eyed Fai and the magician’s heart twisted. Did he not like him?

“Not Syaoran,” The boy played with his fingers.

Oh.

_Oh…_

Fai wanted to smack himself, but at the same time, he had no idea that Syaoran had ever gone by his true name. Names had power and were often hidden. They’d never called him anything except Syaoran, though they had heard him confide his real name to Sakura before they left. It had felt like a private confession and they hadn’t brought it up to him.

“What’s your name then?” Kurogane squatted beside the bed, getting down to the boy’s eye level.

“Tsubasa,” He said shyly.

“Nice to meet you, kid.”

Tsubasa gave a short nod, looking at the ninja through his lashes.

Fai was torn between pretending he hadn’t already messed up in the first two minutes of their kid being awake… and actually apologizing to a toddler.

“Ah! ~ That was so silly of Mokona! Mokona got Tsubasa’s name wrong, how silly!” Mokona twirled around dramatically, bringing a small curve to Tsubasa’s mouth. 

Fai took his cue.

“Very silly indeed. We’re sorry, Tsubasa. Will you forgive us?” He phrased it lightly, but inside Fai was honestly very concerned for the boy’s answer.

Tsubasa spun, a radiant smile on his tiny face.

“Yeah!”

Fai sat back, stunned and suddenly grateful he was already sitting. 

He’d seen that very smile on another face. 

Logically he _knew_ that Tsubasa was Syaoran and Sakura’s son. That detail was difficult to reconcile with the fact that Syaoran was cloned from Tsubasa in the first place.

But abruptly it was so easy to see Sakura in the child before him. If Tsubasa smiled that happily when back to his teenage self, would Fai still see Sakura shining through? He already loved Tsubasa , or Syaoran or whichever name he decided to go with… Yet the idea that this was the _child_ of the Sakura and Syaoran that they had traveled with and loved as their own children was suddenly hammered into his head with an abruptness that floored him.

Fai was so screwed.

Dazed, he gazed wide eyed at Kurogane. He felt a flicker of validation when he saw an equally bewildered look on the ninja.

Mokona was overjoyed by the change in mood, singing lightly to itself.

Tsubasa stood on the mattress, inspecting the room. He looked high and low, leaning side to side and wobbling on his tiptoes to peer over their heads.

“Where’s Mama and Daddy?”

The innocence of his question was like a slap. Fai’s throat tightened. He had no idea how to answer such a thing. Lies usually dripped from his tongue as quick and easy as breathing and yet in the face of this… He couldn’t make his mouth move. 

Kurogane eyed him, squinting, before standing and ruffling the boy’s hair.

“They’re away for a while. They left you in our care, okay? Now let’s get something to eat.”

“Okay!” Tsubasa nodded. He slipped down off the bed and ran after Mokona, the creature bounding off toward the kitchen.

That was…

That felt too easy.

Fai watched Tsubasa explore their space, his brows pulling together. A hand landed heavily on his head, then moved to tug his ponytail.

“Not everything has to be the end of the world, you know.”

* * *

Kurogane leaned against the counter, arms crossed and watching the chaos unfold.

Mokona practically flew back and forth in the small living room, the little boy chasing relentlessly. He laughed the whole time, breathless giggles filling the apartment. Fai found it difficult to focus on his cooking, so often sidetracked by the antics going on around the corner.

Once in a while there was a dull thud, and then Tsubasa’s cheerful voice,

“I okay!”

And the pattering of feet would start anew.

“Waah! Tsubasa almost got Mokona! Tsubasa is so fast!” Mokona cheered the boy on when he finally began to slow.

“I go super fast!” Tsubasa shrieked, making a daring leap through the air to grab at Mokona’s foot. Unfortunately, he didn’t stick the landing, his toes catching the hem of his pants. He went down with a spectacular thump.

Fai winced, peering around the corner to see him pop back up for the tenth time.

Except he didn’t.

Silence rang, and then Tsubasa jerked his face off the floor and burst into tears.

Fai went to shut off the stove, but Kurogane had already crossed the room in two large strides and picked the boy up by the back of his shirt like a kitten. The shift to being in the air didn’t stop his tears.

“Hey, kid. You’re alright, what’d you hurt?” The ninja looked him over, transferring Tsubasa to his side.

The child hiccuped, gripping Kurogane’s shirt tightly.

“My- my knee… a-and here…” He wailed, pointing to a growing red spot on his chin.

“Yeah? Let me look. Open up,” Kurogane searched Tsubasa’s mouth. Checking to make sure the kid hadn’t bitten his tongue. Fai wouldn’t have even thought to look… “You look fine to me.”

Mokona appeared on top of Kurogane’s head.

“Mokona is so sorry! Maybe Tsubasa should take a break?” Mokona fretted.

“Yeah… Owie,” Tsubasa sniffed. And then to Kurogane’s surprise, he reached up and wrapped his little arms around the ninja’s neck. 

Fai put a hand to his lips to stop the indulgent smile that slid onto his face. Kurogane looked thunderstruck by the hug, and Tsubasa looked so incredibly small in the ninja’s arms. The magician bit his bottom lip and went back to stirring the noodles. There was a Kuro-daddy joke that wanted to make itself known, but it felt a little too close to the truth to get any sort of rise out of Kurogane.

The boys and Mokona came over to the kitchen, late afternoon sunlight streaming in the window by the stove. 

“Hey, Tsubasa, are you hungry?” He asked, hoping to distract Tsubasa from his tumble.

Two watery amber eyes peeked at him.

“What’s that?” Tsubasa whispered, eyes darting down to the food simmering on the stove and back up to Fai.

“Its noodles and some vegetables, do you like noodles?” Fai knew children could be picky eaters, but as a teenager, Tsubasa ate just about anything he was presented with.

The little boy stared down at the bubbling pot, a serious look taking over his face. It was odd to see the familiar expression on a toddler.

“Can I have Haw Flakes?” 

“Uh… I don’t think we have any of those…” Fai didn’t have a clue what they even were. He glanced at Kurogane and the ninja shrugged, Tsubasa bouncing with the gesture.

“Haw Flakes are very yummy!” Mokona chirped. “But Tsubasa probably shouldn’t have candy for dinner.”

Fai withheld a snort at the betrayed look on the boy’s face. Then his heart twisted when Tsubasa turned back to him, eyes wide and beseeching. His lip trembled. The leftover tears on his cheeks were just the icing on the cake.

“Please?”

“I’m sorry, Tsubasa. We’re having noodles,” He apologized. “Did Sakura teach you that look?” The mage shook his head helplessly. It was strange to be able to talk about Syaoran and Sakura like this. They usually avoided the subject entirely. A part of Fai was happy to be able to remember them this way, as the parents of this sweet little boy, even if Fai personally did not get to see them during their adulthood.

Tsubasa huffed lightly but didn’t make a fuss. He was probably used to not getting his way a hundred percent of the time. Though Fai had no real idea how, because if Tsubasa had pouted a second longer, his heart would have cracked in two.

“Do you think you could help Kuro-tan set the table? The food is just about ready,” He offered, turning off the flame.

“Uh-huh,” Tsubasa nodded, wiggling so that Kurogane would put him down.

“Mokona will help too!” Mokona hopped to the counter, leaning over the edge to pull open the silverware drawer. Tsubasa was nearly too short to see into it, but managed to stretch up to grab a handful of chopsticks and napkins, running off to the small table.

“Thank you, Tsubasa. Thank you, Mokona,” The magician called after them, grinning. It seemed the need to be helpful was a trait that had manifested young.

“Welcome!”

Kurogane retrieved the bowls and Fai ladled out their meal, waving away the fragrant steam.

“Careful, its hot,” He warned the boy as he placed the bowls on the table. He sat himself down on the chair and then cursed under his breath. This world had taller tables and long-legged chairs, which was fine for adults, however…

Tsubasa crawled up onto his chair, plopping himself down and peering up to his dish. The edge of the table was level with his nose, just his wide amber eyes and a fluff of hair visible.

Fai waited, curious to see what the child would do. Teenage Tsubasa would surely have worked something out on his own, not wanting to bother anyone with his problems. The mage was interested to see the differences unfolding before him.

Tsubasa picked his chopsticks up, one in each hand, and looked between them. A little frown puckered his mouth. He put them both in his right hand and fussed with them for a minute, trying to get them to line up properly. Shuffling to his knees, he was able to see over the lip of the bowl, but just barely. Fai couldn’t help thinking how adorable he was. Tsubasa fiddled with the chopsticks again, his tongue poking out in concentration.

Finally, he looked up at Fai, and his face brightened.

“Would you li-“ The mage’s sentence faltered when Tsubasa stood on his chair, carefully pushing his bowl across the table to clink lightly against Fai’s. The child rolled his chopsticks over as well, and then slipped down out of his seat. 

“Kid, where’re you going?” Kurogane wondered.

Fai startled at the sudden warm hand on his knee. And then Tsubasa was climbing up into his lap. The man had to push his chair back a little to give the boy room.

“Um, hello there?”

“Hi Fai!” Tsubasa beamed up at him. “Can I have that?” He pointed at something beyond the mage’s head.

“Have what?” Fai turned his head to look behind him. There was nothing there but the kitchen wall.

“That,” Tsubasa said as if it were obvious.

“Mokona doesn’t see anything…”

“Need this for the ‘sticks. Please?” Fai felt a tiny hand pat at his ponytail.

“Hmm? You want my hair tie?”

“Huh. I know what he means,” Kurogane muttered, drawing all their attention. “Here, mage, hand over the tie and the kid’s chopsticks.”

At a loss, Fai tugged the band loose, his hair sweeping down to brush his shoulders. He reached across the thin table to drop the items in Kurogane’s waiting hand, eyebrows raised. Tsubasa sat expectantly, watching the ninja rip off a piece of his own napkin and roll it into a ball. He pinched it between the wide end of the chopsticks, wrapping it in place with the hair tie.

“There you go, kid.”

Tsubasa leaned to grab the chopsticks, then sat back contentedly, using them with ease now that one end was stuck together.

“Thanks! Daddy always makes my ‘sticks,” He said with a mouth full of noodles.

Fai stared, blown away that a toddler knew how to solve a problem he himself had been struggling with for nearly two years now. Chopsticks were _hard._

“How come you never made me special chopsticks, Kuro-woof?” He whined playfully.

The ninja grunted at him, slurping noodles with a blank face.

“Because you aren’t a child, even if you act like one.”

Tsubasa giggled, looking up at the bickering adults with amusement dancing in his eyes. There was broth dripping off his chin and a flush on his cheeks from the heat of the meal.

Fai was positive he would never be able to look at their kid again without seeing this image, no matter how big he grew.

“Mokona wants special chopsticks too! Please Kurogane!” Mokona waved its chopsticks in the ninja’s face.

Kurogane smacked them away with a clack of his own chopsticks.

“You don’t even use those, manjuu. You just suck everything in your giant mouth.”

“Mokona is offended!”

Fai laughed, his heart lighter than it had felt in ages. When he opened his eyes, Tsubasa was gazing up at him, mouth open a bit in apparent awe.

“What is it?” He searched the boy’s eyes for any sign of recognition.

“Fai is so pretty…” Tsubasa whispered.

A bark of laughter had the two of them jolting to look up at Kurogane. The ninja covered his mouth with his fist, glaring at them.

Shock rippled through the mage. He’d certainly seen Kurogane smile, and even maybe hold back a chuckle, but…

“What are you looking at, a man can cough, can’t he?”

“KUROGANE LAUGHED!” Mokona squealed, launching itself at the man’s face.

“Get off of me, manjuu!”

Mokona hugged its tiny arms to Kurogane’s cheek, peppering him with kisses. Fai swore he could see a cloud of hearts around the two.

“That’s funny,” Tsubasa tilted his head back into Fai’s chest, wiggling with amusement.

Fai ran a hand through the boy’s hair softly, taking in the silky texture.

“Yeah, Kuro-rin is a funny guy.”

* * *

When dinner was over, Tsubasa declared he needed to go potty and there was a moment of panic. The men and Mokona shared a look of dread. They would help him if he really needed it, but if that could be avoided, they would all be grateful.

“Uh, is that something you can do by yourself, kid?” Kurogane grimaced.

Tsubasa nodded furiously.

“I’m a big boy. But I don’t know where’s the potty,” He fidgeted, curling his toes together.

A wave of relief rolled over the group, hoping the kid was telling the truth.

“It’s that room right there. If you need anything, just yell, okay?” Fai gestured to the small room off to the side.

“Okay!” And the boy rushed off, slamming the door a bit harder than was necessary. A moment later unintelligible singing started up, echoing in the confined space.

Kurogane scrubbed a hand over his face.

“Things seem to be going alright so far…” Fai ventured softly, not wanting Tsubasa to overhear them talking about him. Though it was doubtful he could currently hear anything beyond his own voice.

“Yeah.”

Mokona rubbed its face to Fai’s cheek, the velvet fur soothing.

“Tsubasa is so happy, why is Fai nervous?”

The magician sighed, tucking his arms around himself.

“Its… its because he really does seem fine. I don’t understand this magic. He clearly does not know us. He thinks his parents are still alive. He does not remember being Syaoran at all. And yet he is entirely at ease here in a world he has never seen. He didn’t appear worried at all when you said his parents were away, Kuro-sama.”

The ninja hummed at that; his red eyes fixed on the closed bathroom door.

“Tsubasa is not the same as Sakura,” Mokona tilted its head to look up at the wizard’s face. “Sakura’s memories were scattered all over the place. Sakura trusted everyone because she did not know to do anything else. She forgot, but sometimes her body remembered for her. Tsubasa isn’t like that. Mokona can feel all Tsubasa’s memories still in his body. Maybe Tsubasa can’t remember Fai and Kurogane and Mokona right now, but Tsubasa’s heart remembers everyone. Mokona can only feel lots of trust and love from Tsubasa.”

Warmth spread from Fai’s chest all the way to the tips of his fingers. To his toes. That was a different kind of remembering, and he would gladly accept it.

* * *

After washing the dishes and another round of Tsubasa bouncing around trying to catch Mokona, the child finally started yawning. Fai picked him up and brought him into the group bedroom, realizing a new problem.

“Kuro-sama, we don’t have any other clothes for him.”

The clothes Tsubasa was wearing were the same he had put on this morning. They had shrunk with his body, but were not as loose and comfortable as sleep clothes should be. Plus, there were smatterings of broth on the front of his shirt, so he should wear something different tomorrow.

“Here, he can wear this for the night. We’ll have to get him new stuff in the morning,” Kurogane handed him one of Tsubasa’s regular shirts.

“That’s not going to even be close to small enough,” He frowned.

“The kid’s just sleeping in it, he’ll be fine. Right, kid? You’ve slept in your parent’s clothes before, I bet?”

Tsubasa paused in his jumping on the bed, looking at the shirt the size of his whole body.

“Yeah, I like it,” He dropped onto the mattress and yanked his shirt over his head.

Fai helped the boy change, inwardly marveling at how much better Kurogane was at this than him. He knew that he didn’t exactly get a childhood, and that the ninja had both of his parents until he was in his early teens… But Kurogane rarely spoke of Suwa or his mother or father, so moments like this reminded Fai so vividly that the ninja knew exactly what parents were supposed to do.

Tsubasa held his arms out wide, looking down at the shirt that reached his ankles. It was a short sleeved summer shirt, but the edges of the sleeves brushed his wrists anyway. He hopped once, giggling when the shirt billowed out around him. And then he was jumping on the bed, flapping his arms wildly. 

“Look! I’m a bird! These my wings. Tsu has wings and flies! Tsubasa’s tsubasa!”

Fai choked a little, not expecting the boy to know the meaning behind his name already. 

“Oh dear, well its time for little birds to go to bed, okay?” He snatched the boy out of the air, and he squawked appropriately. 

“Oh no,” Tsubasa pouted around another yawn. “Five minutes?” He held out both hands, tiny fingers spread out.

“That would be ten, kid. Now get some sleep.” Kurogane lingered behind the mage.

Fai tucked him under the covers, smiling at the confused look the child gave his own hands.

“We’ll be just across the room, alright? And Mokona will be right here with you to keep you company,” He brushed the child’s hair back from his forehead.

“Okay,” Tsubasa’s reply was suddenly shy.

Mokona snuggled up by his neck, bestowing a goodnight kiss on his round cheek and humming quietly.

“Goodnight, kid,” Kurogane turned off the light. 

The two of them crossed to their larger bed, slipping off their shoes and changing into their sleepwear in the darkness. It wasn’t late by any means, the sun had only just made its retreat for the day, but none of them could claim they weren’t at least mentally exhausted by the events of the day. Fai pulled the comforter up, his head sinking into the pillow. Kurogane laid close enough that their elbows bumped, heaving a tired breath.

Sleep would be wonderful.

But it didn’t come.

Every time he was about to slip away, there was a sound. A rustle of little feet kicking. A hum. The smallest huff. That shouldn’t be enough to keep him awake and yet here he was. And from the stiffness still engrained in Kurogane’s form, he was awake too. Fai had no idea how long it had been when his eyes opened of their own accord and he slowly looked to Tsubasa’s bed.

The child was sitting up in the dark, legs crossed under the shirt and two fingers in his mouth. He was staring at them.

Kurogane groaned, a loud noise in the night, and Tsubasa startled, throwing himself back down on the bed.

“Kid, just get over here and get some sleep.”

Well that was a pleasant surprise. Fai had been considering the notion earlier but hadn’t wanted to discuss it in front of Tsubasa in case Kurogane wasn’t keen on all of them sharing one bed.

The boy popped back up, head tilted like he wasn’t sure he heard right.

“Hurry up.”

Tsubasa hurried. He slipped over the lip of the bed, his shirt riding up as he went down. He got two steps towards them when he turned around, lifting to his tip toes and reaching to cradle a sleeping Mokona in his small hands. Then he brought the magical creature over with him, offering Mokona to Fai.

“That was very thoughtful of you,” Fai praised, settling Mokona on the pillow beside him. He sat up and reached over to lift the boy up to the bed, setting him down in the middle.

Tsubasa beamed at him, his happiness bright even in the dim light from the window. He kicked his legs under the sheets and pulled them up to his nose. He turned onto his belly. He picked at the pillow. He sang nonsense to himself.

How was it that Tsubasa had been half asleep when they brought him into the bedroom, and now he was bursting with energy again?

“Tsubasa, you need to lie down,” Fai chastised lowly when the boy got to his hands and knees, trying to peer out the window.

“But there’s a thing,” He countered, pointing in the direction of the trees.

Before Fai or Kurogane could ask what, a loud sound echoed through the forest, low and mysterious. Tsubasa squeaked, flinging himself onto Kurogane’s chest and burrowing beneath the blankets.

“Oof. Shit, kid. Its just an owl.”

Fai tried not to laugh and the poor boy’s terror. He could practically hear the child’s heart pounding.

“Scary!” Tsubasa cried, his voice muffled by Kurogane’s night shirt.

“It can’t hurt you. You’re safe in here, okay?” The ninja wrapped an arm over Tsubasa, covering the child’s head with his hand. “Now sleep.”

Fai watched Tsubasa rub his cheek into the man’s chest, right over his heart. Ever so gradually his blinking slowed, until his small back rose evenly and his fingers twitched. 

Now Fai could sleep.

They’d survived day one.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three year olds are all over the map. Some demand to do everything on their own. Some demand help with every tiny thing. Some don't talk much at all. Some never shut up. Some refer to themselves entirely in third person.
> 
> The Li Clan is based in Hong Kong and you can rip that from my cold dead fingers. I know that its canon that Tsubasa grew up in the same world as Yuuko's Shop, but no one ever said it had to be the same country.


	3. Good Morning Sunshine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kurogane and Mokona have a staring contest at breakfast, Tsubasa just wants to fly, and Fai's heart is so, so full.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay! I got so busy around Memorial Day and this ended up soooo long I ended up cutting it off before the day was even halfway through.

Fai wasn’t one to wake early. He preferred late nights and lazy mornings, allowing himself the luxury of sleeping in when their travels permitted such a thing. Kurogane was often the first to rise, followed shortly after by Syaoran, unless the boy was injured or exhausted. The latter happened much more frequently than either Kurogane or Fai would like. The magician liked to drag himself out of bed when there was a promise of food, though for the most part he was usually the one to cook breakfast. Their morning meal tended to end up bland or bitter if Fai let Kurogane cook. Not that the ninja was a bad cook in any capacity… He just didn’t share Fai’s sweet tooth.

Mokona got up whenever Mokona damn well pleased, sometimes launching out of bed the moment Kurogane left the room, and sometimes indulging in a late morning snooze with Fai.

So, when Fai was awakened by something pressing against his cheek, his internal clock told him that it was much, much too early to be up.

Making a face, he pulled away from the offending object. Fai squinted against the morning light, sleep muddled mind struggling to understand what he was seeing. Rubbing his eyes, he concluded that he was indeed looking at a tiny foot. What it was doing beside his head on the pillow was the real question.

Propping himself up on his elbows, he felt a smile take over his face. Now that was a sweet sight to wake up to, early or not.

Kurogane was still asleep. Flat on his back, like always, with his arm up over his head. Tsubasa, on the other hand, was completely sprawled out across the pillows, barely touching the mattress at all. His head was tucked close to the ninja’s armpit, and his feet kicked up on Fai’s pillow. Mokona was curled in one of his small hands, snuggled up under the boy’s chin.

Wanting very much to go back to sleep but not wanting to wake either of his boys, Fai considered just rolling a little further away and nodding back off. Except he was already quite close to the edge of the bed. And he enjoyed the feeling of being close to the ones he loved while he rested. Fai just didn’t want to end up with toes in his mouth.

Making his choice, Fai carefully snuck his hands under Tsubasa’s legs, shifting him so that he lay in the proper direction. The magician froze when a soft sound of annoyance escaped the child’s lips.

“Shh, its okay. Go back to sleep,” He murmured, ghosting a hand over Tsubasa’s forehead.

The boy’s eyelids fluttered, and he peeked up at Fai before rolling to press himself into Kurogane’s side.

Fai felt the strangest flicker of jealousy but banished it quickly. He was being absurd. He wasn’t even sure if he was jealous of Kurogane, for being the one Tsubasa seemed to cling to… Or if he was jealous of Tsubasa for getting to snuggle up to Kurogane without complaint from the ninja.

Either way, Fai thought, he was being very silly. He shuffled himself over and curled around Tsubasa, laying his head on Kurogane’s arm. The sun stretched across his back, pleasantly warm.

Fai could share.

* * *

“We have to go out today, kid. You need clothes,” Kurogane informed Tsubasa over a breakfast of eggs and some rather strange sour toast. He’d beaten Fai out of bed after all.

Tsubasa paused in his eating, crumbs stuck to his cheeks. He was still wearing the giant shirt from overnight and seemed entirely comfortable continuing to do so. His nose scrunched up.

“I don’t wanna shop,” He mumbled.

“We can make it fast,” Fai pacified, putting down his tea. “And maybe we can go out to lunch after? The weather looks quite nice.”

Kurogane shrugged, not disagreeing.

“Yay! Mokona wants to eat outside!” Mokona slurped loudly from the straw in its drink.

Tsubasa poked at a piece of egg, biting his bottom lip and looking nervous.

“Is something wrong?” Fai frowned. If Tsubasa was uneasy about leaving the apartment, surely there was something they could do to make him feel better. He could imagine the world being rather intimidating when one was small and away from his parents.

Tsubasa shook his head, eyes wide, but he didn’t look any less anxious. Or maybe anxious wasn’t the right word. He looked like he thought he was in trouble.

How could this habit have started this young?

“What do you want?” Kurogane sighed.

Tsubasa clasped his hands together like he was begging.

“Can we go to the libary?” He pleaded.

Oh yeah. This was still the same kid.

“Kid, can you even read?” Kurogane asked, a grin teasing at the corner of his mouth.

“Daddy and Mama read me books. Daddy’s got a lot! He’s got, uh…” Tsubasa’s face screwed up in thought. “Um, ten. This many books,” He waved his arms around.

“Oh yeah? Ten books, wow, that’s so many,” Fai couldn’t help indulging him. “I think we have time for a library visit, right Kuro-poppo? We should probably thank that librarian while we’re at it, hmm?”

Tsubasa looked like Christmas had come early. He bounced on the cushion on his chair, emitting a high pitched squeal of excitement.

“Libary! Thank you thank you thankyou!” He slid down off the chair with a thump, the cushion flopping to the floor as well. “I get ready!” And he was running off to the bedroom as quick as his little legs would carry him.

Fai shook his head fondly. Of course Syaoran would have a multitude of books and read to his son all the time. He finished off his tea, standing to clear his plate and Tsubasa’s. A thought occurred to him as he placed the dishes in the sink. The magician turned to Kurogane, who was still at the table with his arms crossed, engaged in a staring contest with Mokona over the last slice of toast.

“Kuro-papa?”

“Hmm.”

“We’re not going to be able to read to him…” Fai said slowly.

Kurogane swiped the toast, ignoring Mokona’s wail of betrayal.

“The kid can’t read either. We can just explain what’s happening in the pictures. He won’t know the difference.”

Fai’s heart settled. What would he do if Kurogane weren’t here?

A whine of frustration came from the bedroom then.

“Tsubasa?” The mage called. “Do you need help?”

“No! I do it,” The boy yelled back confidently.

Kurogane and Fai shared a look, waiting. Mokona tilted its head, ears perking at the succession of odd noises. A particularly sharp bang made Fai wince.

“Help!” Tsubasa cried, voice wavering.

Kurogane stood, abandoning the last of his breakfast on the table.

“I got him.”

Mokona pounced.  


* * *

Shopping went quickly, thank goodness. Another parent in the shop took pity on them when she saw them trying to hold up shirts and pants to an impatient toddler and intervened.

“Just have him try one set on, and if it fits you can make sure to pick out only items with that number and they should all be about the same size,” She pulled a shirt out of her basket and flipped the bottom hem inside out to reveal a stitched row of four tiny lines.

“Huh,” Kurogane said, eyeing the shirt appreciatively.

“Oh, that’s so much easier!” Fai slumped in relief. “Here, Tsubasa, why don’t you help me find all the little numbers, and you won’t have to try anything else on?” He lowered to one knee and held out the armful of shirts they had chosen.

“Okay!” The boy was delighted at this change in events, eagerly dropping to his knees as well and starting to sift through the clothing. Mokona perched on his shoulder, helping him count the lines in the stitching.

“How much do you think we’ll need?” Fai looked up to the ninja. It was a bit of a loaded question and neither of them knew the answer. There was no way to know how long Tsubasa would remain…Tsubasa.

Kurogane considered it, his mouth pulling to tight line across his face.

“Enough for a week. We can wash them if this goes longer than that. Return stuff if he doesn’t use it.”

Fai smiled gratefully. They quickly sorted through the clothes, putting the wrong ones back on the shelves. Tsubasa plodded alongside them as they grabbed some underclothes, pants, and a light coat. He wasn’t picky about what he wanted to wear. He seemed to like green and yellow, but didn’t make a fuss when the only coat in his size was red.

They were just about to head to the front and pay when something caught the boy’s eye and he dashed off to a shelf to their left.

“Fai! Kuwo- Kurg… uh, Fai! Come look! Look look look what I found!”

The magician laughed both at his excitement and at the attempts to say Kurogane. The child had so far been avoiding using the ninja’s name entirely and Fai found it impossibly endearing.

Tsubasa tugged on a folded bundle slightly over his head, doing his best to stop the clothes on top of the one he chose from tumbling onto his head. Mokona did its best to help, but Mokona’s arms were much too short to do any good.

“Whatcha got, kid?” Kurogane strode over and lifted the top items before they could fall and undo their folding. Fai followed, curious at what had gotten Tsubasa all worked up. He was dancing in place, face giddy and giggles spilling endlessly from his mouth.

“Mama-flowers!” He cried with glee, pointing. “A Mama shirt! I found it!”

Kurogane laid down the extras, picking up the item of clothing. Surprise sent his eyebrows to his hairline.

Fai leaned around his arm, shock making his mouth fall open slightly.

It was decorated with Sakura petals. 

“Mama-flowers, Mama-flowers-“ Tsubasa sang to himself, Mokona joining in.

Fai barely heard them, transfixed on the baffling piece of clothing.

It was light green. Delicate pink and white petals were embroidered across one sleeve, trailing in a swirl across the front, and dipping off to the opposite side. It looked soft. Fai eyed the shirt, and then Tsubasa… It might be a little… long for him.

“Would you like it?” He offered.

“I think this is a dress-“ Kurogane muttered.

“He can sleep in it,” Fai retorted quickly.

The magician ignored Kurogane’s noise of dismay, plucking the whatever it was out of his hands and crouching in front of their child. He held it out.

“Would you like me to buy this for you, Tsubasa?”

Tsubasa grinned so hard he looked like he would pop.

“Yes, please!” He grabbed the cloth tightly in his little hands, and then threw himself at Fai, wrapping the man in a fierce hug. “Thank you a lot!”

Fai hugged him back, elated to have made Tsubasa so happy with such a simple thing. Then he scooped the boy up, settling him on his hip. He held out the basket of clothes in Kurogane’s direction, smiling even wider when he felt it yank out of his hand.

“Then let’s go pay for it, huh?” 

Tsubasa let go of Fai’s neck, hugging the shirt-dress instead. Fai danced them into the short line to pay, unable to take his eyes off Tsubasa’s face. The mage reached up and pushed some hair behind the boy’s ear. Tsubasa was so full of life like this. Though Fai knew it wasn’t right, there was a traitorous part of him that wished the boy could stay this way, small and happy and safe with them. He wanted to see Tsubasa this carefree always.

He vowed to bring this joy to Tsubasa’s face once he was a teenager again. It would take some work. It may take a very long time, but if he could bring this sparkle back to the boy’s eyes, it would be worth it.

They left the clothing shop and stepped into the sunshine, their purchases tucked away inside Mokona for now. A vast wind met them head on, huge puffy clouds rushing by overhead. Fai’s clothes whipped around him and Tsubasa raised his arms like he was greeting the sky.

“Wow! Whoosh!” He cried, then wiggling to be put down.

Fai obliged, and Tsubasa slid to the sidewalk. He held onto one of Fai’s hand though, skipping along beside them as they made their way towards the library. Kurogane navigated for them via a new map card and directions from the clothing shop owner. Mokona sat atop Kurogane’s head, ears trailing behind in the steady zephyr. There must be storms coming.

“So windy…” Tsubasa said in awe, his hair pushed back off his face as they headed north.

“You cold, kid?” Kurogane asked before Fai could get to it.

Tsubasa hopped over a crack in the pavement, his free arm out to the side and waving around.

“No. I okay.”

“Alright, tell us if you are,” Kurogane gave the boy’s head a pat.

“Kay!” Tsubasa shot him a sunny smile and grabbed his larger hand. He held on tight to both adults, running forward a few steps and then jumping. He yanked his feet up to his belly for a moment, swinging out and back before dropping his little feet back to the sidewalk.

Fai blinked, amused by the action.

Kurogane, on the other hand, smirked.

“Oh, you wanna fly, kid? You better hold on.”

Tsubasa ran, and Kurogane took a huge step forward, swinging the child high into the air. The mage stumbled, shocked by the sudden movement and hurried to raise his arm enough so that Tsubasa wasn’t so lopsided.

Tsubasa screamed, but it was one of the happiest sounds Fai had ever heard. He found himself laughing at himself and his clumsy recovery.

“Again! Again!” 

“Mokona wants to fly too!” The creature launched itself down to Tsubasa and held tightly to the collar of the boy’s shirt.

They swung him. Over and over the child rose up ahead of them, hair wild, clothes snapping in the wind. Tsubasa cheered, his feet pattering loudly on the road between swings. Fai was vaguely aware that some of the townspeople were turning to stare at them as they made their way down the street in a noisy cluster. He couldn’t give less of a shit.

This was what family felt like, and he was glad all eyes were trained on Tsubasa, because his own were tearing up slightly at the swell of love and happiness in his chest. 

The library came into view too soon.

Tsubasa hopped up the stone stairs, turning at the top to shush them, including Mokona. 

“Is a libary. Haveta shhh…” He frowned impressively until they agreed, stifling their chuckles at how serious he took such a thing already. Syaoran had wasted no time teaching this boy what was important to him.

Despite his enthusiasm, when they actually set foot inside the quiet building Tsubasa shrunk into himself and held onto a fistful of Kurogane’s pants. To be fair, the front desk must have appeared very intimidating. It rose over his head, and the hushed atmosphere and dusty book smell added to the impressive feel of the building. Fai hadn’t appreciated the high ceilings and exposed beams before, too caught up in worrying over where Syaoran had run off to.

“Good morning,” Fai smiled graciously to the desk attendant, a dark-skinned woman with crow’s feet decorating the corners of her eyes and a pair of golden wired glasses perched on her nose. “Where would we find the children’s books? Maybe some with lots of pictures for our little guy here?”

The librarian smiled politely, peering down over the rims of her glasses to see Tsubasa. He jerked to hide himself behind Kurogane’s leg, scrunching his face up and pressing himself as close as possible. 

The ninja sighed but didn’t make him come out to say hello either.

“She isn’t going to eat you, kid.”

“Its quite all right, dear. The children’s section is all the way at the back. Axelia should be back there, and she can help you pick out some winners,” She winked at Tsubasa when he peeked up at her.

“Thank you,” Fai headed off towards the back of the library, Mokona waving back at the woman. Kurogane nodded, following on stiff legs. Tsubasa stumbled behind him awkwardly, still holding on and occasionally stepping on the back of the ninja’s boots.

The children’s area was cheerier by far. Large bay windows bathed the area in light, the walls a sunny yellow instead of the grey the rest of the rooms were. Colorful books filled low shelves. There were a few families with children settled on cushions on the floor, but a familiar face stuck out. The young librarian from yesterday knelt on the floor in the corner, restocking a small pile of books.

She looked up, ready to greet the newcomers with a polite smile, but her eyes widened with recognition when she saw them. They got even wider somehow when Tsubasa snuck a glance at her.

“Oh my-” She hushed her voice and side eyed the other library patrons, not wanting to bring everyone’s attention to them. “Um, welcome back.”

“Thank you,” Fai said. “I don’t suppose you could help us pick out some picture books? Big or small, we have an avid reader on our hands.”

The librarian, Axelia, nodded, not able to rip her gaze off Tsubasa. Kurogane retreated to a corner, folding his legs and settling on the floor in a half-hearted attempt to not terrify the other children. A few of the smaller ones clung to their parents, edging away from the dark robed ninja. The parents slumped in relief when Tsubasa grabbed the nearest book off the shelf and crawled into Kurogane’s lap without hesitation.

The little boy shoved the colorful book in Kurogane’s face, chirping for him to read it to him, and only remembering his pleases and thank you’s after the response was a mild scowl.

“He found the Pool then…” The small woman rose to Fai’s shoulder, expression unsure as if she thought she was overstepping boundaries by asking anything more.

Fai frowned, nodding.

“He had no intention of using it. There’s something we’re looking for, and I believe he thought the spirits guarding the water may have had information that would be useful to him,” He said quietly, watching Tsubasa turn the pages at Kurogane’s instruction. “The spirits wanted to keep him. Another moment under and we may have lost him. We have you to thank for him still being with us. Kuro-ru and I were just in time.”

Axelia startled, looking up into his eyes and blushing.

“I’m glad I was able to help, I mean I didn’t really expect to have made much of a difference… I- wow.”

She ran her fingers through her long hair fretfully.

The mage sighed, a little wary of the answer he would receive, but unable to stop himself from asking his next question.

“Has there ever been a case of someone using the Cradle Pool and becoming stuck at the new age for good?”

Tsubasa giggled, falling over in Kurogane’s lap. The ninja propped him back up effortlessly, continuing his storytelling. Mokona turned the page for them.

“Not one that I have ever heard of. I flipped through the books he was reading last night when I was putting them away and I only saw records of people eventually reverting to their original age. I don’t think he will stay little forever, but-“ She cut herself off and lowered her tone apologetically. “There’s always a first time for everything. That magic is unpredictable. I’m so sorry.”

Fai placed a gentle hand on her shoulder when she hung her head.

“Don’t be. We’re grateful that he’s alive and healthy, nothing else. There isn’t anything you could have done yesterday. But today we have one little boy who is in desperate need of some books, so would you be so kind as to help me choose some winners?”

* * *

After signing out a handful of books and receiving a punch card from the library to remind them to bring the books back, the group headed back out to town for lunch. It was as windy as ever, enough so that Tsubasa was having a hard time walking against the gale even holding their hands. After a few minutes of struggling and making some ridiculous faces, he ran around in front of Kurogane and put up his arms in a clear gesture.

“Up please!” He cried.

“Too much for you, huh?” Kurogane snorted, his tone teasing. He reached down and let Tsubasa grab his arm, lifting him to his side. Tsubasa curled into him, happy to get his face out of the persistent wind.

They walked like that for a while, back past the clothing shop and even sending the grain vendor from the morning before a short wave. He waved back distractedly, trying to pack up his cart and stop his wares from all blowing away. Most of the street carts were closing up and shooting looks of frustration at the sky. Blue still shone around the cracks of the clouds, but their bottoms were getting darker and the spaces between were becoming smaller and smaller.

Fai wasn’t sure if lunch outside would work after all. 

“Should we head back to the inn? It looks like everyone is heading inside.” He asked Kurogane.

“Yeah. We should be saving the money we have anyway. That okay with you, kid?”

Tsubasa’s head popped up, but he didn’t answer. Instead his amber eyes locked on something down the street. 

“Ice cream!”

“Huh?” Kurogane paused on the sidewalk, brows furrowed.

Fai stopped as well, following the child’s gaze to a shop at the far corner. A frazzled man in a bright apron was hurrying to take down table umbrellas before they broke or blew away. Painted on the shop window was a triangle with a multicolored swirl on top. It took the mage a moment to remember what ice cream was. They had only encountered it for the first time in Outo, and then again in Piffle. The frozen treat hadn’t been seen since Tsubasa joined them, so it must have been around in the child’s home world.

“Can we have ice cream? Please? Please please?” Tsubasa pointed at the shop and pushed his face very close to the ninja’s. Kurogane had to lean away to look at the three-year-old properly. 

Fai grinned at the prospect of something sweet after the very not-sweet breakfast they had.

“Yeah, Kuro-sama, can we have ice cream?” He draped himself over the ninja, tugging at his sleeve. “Please, please, please?”

Mokona sprung out from where Mokona had been napping in Kurogane’s collar.

“Mokona wants ice cream too! Three scoops with sprinkles! Buy some for us, Daddy!”

“Ugh,” Kurogane looked like he was repressing murderous thoughts.

“Pretty please?” Tsubasa implored, the picture of innocence.

The ninja started walking again, and not in the direction of their inn.

“They better have something healthy for the kid to eat first.”

He was met with a chorus of cheering.

The shop did sell a tiny selection of fruit filled pastries, so it was mandated that Tsubasa needed to at least have a muffin before they ordered ice cream. Fai pacified the boy by conforming to the rule as well, picking them each a muffin with chunks of what tasted like raspberries but looked nothing like them. Tsubasa devoured his. 

“Ice cream time?” He asked hopefully the moment his plate was clear of crumbs. 

Fai laughed lightly. The child had to sit on his knees in his chair to reach his plate. His fingers were coated in sticky fruit paste and his hair was sticking up from being out in the wind. He was a bit of a sight, but Fai loved him so much in that moment. The mage popped the last of his own pastry in his mouth and stood, nodding.  
\  
“Ice cream time.” He picked Tsubasa up out of his seat, turning to Kurogane. “You want anything, Kuro-puu?”

Kurogane made a face at the nickname and shrugged.

“Only if they have something bitter.”

“Will do, Kuro-woof!” Fai gave the top of his head a pat and dodged away from a lackluster swipe of the ninja’s arm.

Tsubasa giggled at them, his fingers leaving sticky spots on Fai’s shirt. They went up to the counter and Fai was momentarily puzzled at what to do. There was a list of flavors and what he assumed were toppings and sizes, but the magician couldn’t read a word of it. 

“Ah, let’s see…” He adjusted Tsubasa on his hip. “Can we have your smallest sizes of… hmm, two of your sweetest flavor, one bitter one if you have any, and then what do you want, Tsu?”

The boy shrunk away from the counter attendant, another bout of shyness creeping over him. He got close enough that Fai could feel his lips brush his ear when he whispered his request.

“And one chocolate, please.” He finished with a smile. Tsubasa nodded and then hid his face in Fai’s neck. Fai unconsciously pressed his cheek to the child’s head and hugged him a little closer. 

“Sure thing. So that’s two small rainbow cakes, a café, and a chocolate. That’ll be eleven shin please.” The man grinned as he tallied the price. He must have been relieved to have any customers at all with the weather turning sour the way it was. 

Fai handed over the money, square bronze coins, and the man got to work on their desserts. He could have returned to their table, he supposed, but there was something calming about Tsubasa’s weight and the sound of the wind behind him. He swayed side to side, feeling the boy’s hot breath puff over his skin. It was a minute before he realized Tsubasa hadn’t moved or said anything.

The mage peered down.

“Falling asleep, are we?” He whispered.

Tsubasa jerked his head up, blinking slowly.

“No.”

Fai’s eyes crinkled in amusement.

“You aren’t too sleepy to eat ice cream, are you?”

Tsubasa shook his head.

“Uh-uh.”

“Okay, if you say so…” He couldn’t keep the teasing tone out of his voice.

It was a struggle to hold all the ice cream cups and Tsubasa, but the two of them managed to get their treats back to the table without any major spills. Tsubasa perked up a bit from the cold and dug into his cup without hesitation.

Kurogane eyed his ice cream warily, unsure if the mage had actually gotten him something he’d enjoy or if he was about to eat a spoonful of pure sugar.

“Come on, Kuro-pii, the gentleman at the counter said it was café. Maybe its like coffee?”

The ninja pursed his lips, picking the spoon up at last. It was true that his cup was filled with a plain light brown cream, whereas the ice cream the mage and the manjuu were consuming looked like some multicolored nightmare. Fai grinned when he gingerly took a bite and didn’t immediately spit it out.

“Is it good?” Fai’s eyes crinkled at the corners.

Kurogane grunted, taking another scoop.

“Its not bad.”

Fai was scraping the sprinkles from the bottom of his cup when Tsubasa suddenly took a dive. Thankfully it was towards the table and not off the side of his chair. He did end up face-first in his dessert though. He jolted back, wide-eyed and startled, with half melted ice cream all over his nose and cheeks.

“Wha’ happened?” The boy stared at his overturned cup on the table and his messy hands like it had been the one to jump at him.

Fai didn’t bother smothering his laugh as he snatched up a handful of napkins to clean Tsubasa up with. Kurogane sighed and covered his eyes with one hand. Mokona giggled incessantly, offering its own napkin to help wipe up the table.

“What happened is that we have one little boy here who is in dire need of a nap,” Fai quipped, dropping the dirty napkins in Tsubasa’s cup. He hadn’t even eaten half of the treat, further proof of his exhaustion.

“No…” Tsubasa whined.

Kurogane looked down at the boy.

“If you aren’t going to take a nap then you must have enough energy to walk back?” He challenged.

Tsubasa sucked his bottom lip into his mouth and looked outside. It was starting to sprinkle. He turned back to the ninja with his brows drawn in pure stubbornness.

“Yes.”

“Alright then. Let’s go, kid.”

Fai helped Tsubasa down from his chair, and the boy stomped along with them out the door. The magician was a little unsure if Kurogane being a little harsh, the boy was only three…

The wind crashed into them, forcing Mokona to duck into the collar of Kurogane’s coat. Light smatterings of raindrops pattered around them, dotting the sidewalk. They pushed through the gale, Tsubasa screwing his eyes up and refusing to look at them. Fai kept his mouth shut. Kurogane seemed to know more about all this childhood stuff than he did anyway.

Tsubasa lasted about a block before he abruptly changed course, throwing himself at Fai’s legs. He held on with one small hand and reached up with the other.

“I nap! I nap! Up please?”

Kurogane’s victorious smirk read loud and clear.

The magician swung Tsubasa up into his arms, the child not hesitating to snuggle close. It wasn’t long at all before Fai felt the arms around his neck loosen, and the head on his shoulder lolled. Luckily the rain held at a drizzle until they made it back to their room at the inn, coming down in rippling sheets within moments of them entering the building. 

“Pheew,” Fai fake whistled. “Just made it, huh, Kuro-rin?”

“Mm,” The ninja watched as the streets outside quickly filled with water, running down towards the lower end of town. “You can put the kid down, you know. He probably won’t wake up.”

Fai shrugged lightly, Tsubasa limp in his arms. He probably should lay the boy down, and his right arm was starting to get pins and needles where Tsubasa was pressed. Instead the magician walked over to the small couch and settled himself on the worn cushions. He let himself slump back, Tsubasa only wiggling a smidge at the change.

This was nice. Being so relaxed. Being so close.

Fai took a deep breath and let his eyes slip closed. Tsubasa pressed his little nose under Fai’s chin.

The rain thundered overhead.

“I know, Kuro-sama. But this is fine.”


	4. Goodnight, Sleep Tight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kurogane is two inches from murdering a butterfly, Fai lets himself relax and reflect, and Tsubasa loves yakitori and watching the lightning.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am SORRY. I really am. I get sucked into One Punch Man, and then I dove deep into the Mob Psycho 100 fandom, and now I am being dragged into My Hero Academia. But I am shoving it all aside to try to get this done.
> 
> I am also very sorry for the goddamn PLUNGE this fic is going to take. It was not going to be quite this rough originally. But its going there now and I can't stop it. I always promise a happy ending though.

The storms stuck around, vast billowing winds and frequent lightning keeping them inside their small apartment. Normally it would be almost like a vacation. Something to force the group to relax and take a load off. It was tough to go collect information and travel when the weather was this foul.

Turned out three-year-olds didn’t appreciate being cooped up inside for days on end.

Their small space became a whirlwind of blanket forts, cooking experiments, and sudden dance parties. The last only being possible when the residents upstairs practiced what sounded like a piano. Kurogane did not participate, being entirely entertained by Tsubasa’s attempts to make him move. Tiny hands pulled at his cape, pushed against his knees, yanked one his wrist, but the ninja would not budge. Eventually the boy gave up and had to be satisfied with only Fai and Mokona as dance partners.

On the third night of thunderstorms a game of hide and seek turned into a wrestling match, if one could venture to call it such a thing. Mostly it was just Kurogane laying on top of Tsubasa and watching him struggle. The boy took the challenge seriously, refusing every offer of help from Fai. He let Mokona help though because the magical creature was even smaller than he was, and that logic made sense to him. 

Kurogane did not appreciate the fact that Mokona’s version of helping was to burrow under his clothes and tickle him.

The wrestling match may have devolved into an impromptu chase, Mokona leading with cries of fake fear, and Tsubasa taking up the rear, giggling too much for his shouts of encouragement to be understood.

“All right, that’s enough of that. I’m cooking the manju for dinner,” Kurogane held Mokona tight in his fist, long fingers curled around the creature like a cage.

“Don’t eat Mokona!” Tsubasa wheezed, the smile never leaving his face. “Mokona is too… Mokona is too fuzzy.”

“Yeah!” Mokona squealed.

“I dunno, you look enough like a pork bun to me…”

“Ah, too bad I already made dinner,” Fai sing-songed from the kitchen. “And its nice and hot so come get it now before I eat it all myself.”

Tsubasa zipped to the counter, getting up on his tip toes to see what Fai was serving up. His face was flushed form all the running, hair starting to stick to his forehead.

“Can we watch the light’in?” he asked, eyes wide and imploring.

Fai chuckled, handing the child a bamboo stick covered in chicken. Probably. It tasted like chicken anyway, even if the color was a little darker than usual.

“Of course, why don’t you go pick yourself a spot and I’ll join you in a minute?” the mage didn’t find it any easier to say no to this boy, no matter how long he stayed little. He wasn’t getting used to it. If anything, every day that went by felt like a clock ticking. Who knew when Tsubasa would grow up again? How much longer did he have with this joyful child? 

That thought was probably the only thing that kept a certain ninja from muttering about Fai spoiling Tsubasa rotten. As it was, he shot the mage an unimpressed look, his own skewer sticking out of his mouth.

Fai pursed his lips and pretended not to see, gliding past the warrior and heading to the couch. Tsubasa was on his knees, one arm propping himself up on the back so that he could watch out the tall windows. Mokona stole a meat chunk off the end of his stick when he wasn’t looking.

“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” Fai said as he lowered himself to the cushions. “I don’t think I could get tired of looking at this…”

Streaks of lightning danced across the sky, a deep, vivid pink. Once in a while a bolt of nearly white or a light purple made a rare appearance. The electricity arched down from the clouds and back up, over and over through the thick, slate grey clouds. Thunder rolled so constantly that it had become a comforting background noise.

“Hmm,” Tsubasa gazed up through the glass, young eyes filled with awe.

Mokona hummed too, hopping down to curl into Fai’s lap.

The couch dipped a moment later with Kurogane’s weight. Fai enjoyed the swirl of contentedness that came with the ninja’s elbow brushing his own. He let himself lean into Kurogane’s side a bit more, closing his eyes and savoring the moment. This was nice. This was so, so peaceful. He would soak it up now while it lasted, and try not to be daunted by the fact that he knew it probably wouldn’t be much longer.

Fai hadn’t quite drifted off, but he wasn’t sure exactly how long it was later that a warm weight laid down in his lap beside Mokona.

Blue eyes fluttering open, the mage looked down.

Amber eyes stared back up. A round face. Messy hair.

“Can we go outside?” Tsubasa questioned softly.

A silent laugh shook his shoulders. How many times had he heard that question today? He dusted his fingers over Tsubasa’s cheek fondly. The boy’s heart held no fear of lightning.

“Ah, sorry love. The answer is still no.”

Tsubasa didn’t look perturbed by the rejection. He blinked up at Fai through long lashes, mouth puckering in thought.

“But… But I be okay? I want to.”

Fai marveled that the child could be so patient. He wasn’t whining or fussing in the least. If anything, he just seemed mildly confused.

“Kid, its just not safe. We’ve been over this. We’ll go out as soon as the weather clears up. We promised, didn’t we?” Kurogane reached across Fai’s body to tap a finger in the middle of Tsubasa’s forehead.

“But- I do it,” he replied calmly.

Fai frowned just a little.

“Do what, Tsubasa?”

The child played with his hands absently, looking out the window when a gust splattered heavy raindrops over the glass. He took a long time answering.

“I do that.”

“What, kid? You gotta be specific. I don’t know what you mean.”

Fai nodded. Trying to get details out of a toddler was like pulling teeth.

“That,” Tsubasa raised a small hand to point at a long streak of pink dipping in and out of the clouds.

Oh? 

Oh…

Understanding filled Fai slowly, a creeping wonder. His eyes moved down to find Tsubasa’s fingers, still fidgeting on his belly. Except he wasn’t fidgeting. Two fingers were attempting to snap against his thumb. The movement was clumsy. Baby-like. His fine motor skills were underdeveloped, but Fai felt in his heart he knew the meaning.

Did Tsubasa remember, or could he already conjure lightning of his own?

Fai cupped his hand around Tsubasa’s gently. The little hand was warm in his, unmoving as if he were used to being guided like this. The mage laid his fingers over the smaller ones, adding just a little pressure to make a proper snap.

This time a fizz of sparks erupted with a hiss. A flash of white-yellow light next to their joined hands.

“See?” Tsubasa’s voice was soft but filled with pride. “I do it.”

* * *

“Kid, come on. I thought you were ready?”” Kurogane leaned against the doorframe and called back into the apartment. “If you take any longer, we are going to leave without you!”

Fai chuckled. Well that was a total lie, but the threat worked nonetheless.

“No! Wait wait!” 

“You know for a kid who kept begging to go out, he sure doesn’t seem to be in any hurry now that he can…” the mage murmured teasingly.

Kurogane grunted. Mokona giggled from on top of his head.

“I ready! I ready!” Tsubasa came running out from the bedroom and straight into the ninja’s legs. 

Kurogane blinked, exasperation stealing over his face.

“Kid, I thought we agreed those were pajamas?” Fai admired that any trace of irritation was withheld from his tone. 

Tsubasa hopped backwards, looking down at the green fabric that hung halfway down his shins. He’d worn the “Mama-flowers” every night since purchasing them. He bent down and tugged the hem up, revealing a pair of shorts.

“Yeah, but I have pants,” he argued, looking both stubborn and excited somehow.

“Oh, that’s great problem solving, Tsubasa. You’re very clever,” Fai was going to cry laughing. Kurogane had told the boy that he couldn’t wear the dress out of the apartment because it might come up while he was tumbling around. He needed to have something covering his bottom, and that wasn’t going to cut it unless he was planning to walk around calmly all the time. “Right, Kuro- pippi? Now we can go out and he can wear what he wants. Everyone wins!” he jabbed his elbow into the ninja’s side.

Kurogane made a face like he was praying for deliverance from these idiots. He made that face around Fai a lot. It was one of Fai’s favorites.

“Whatever, fine. Lets go.”

“Yay!” both Tsubasa and Mokona cheered, throwing themselves out into the sunshine.

Thank goodness the sun was back at last. Fai was not sure the apartment would have survived one more day of toddler imprisonment.

The group strolled down the sidewalk, heading for the lower end of town. The air was light and dry, cooler than before, but certainly refreshing. Wisps of clouds raced across the deep blue sky, the last of the storm blowing its way out to sea. Everything smelled of rain and dirt, layers of spring flower petals plastered to the streets.

Fai was not sure where they were going to find a dry spot for their picnic, but they’d work something out. 

Tsubasa led the way, singing to himself and Mokona. The mage was not sure if it was a real song or if it was nonsense. Most likely the latter, if Mokona wasn’t singing along. 

Fai stretched his arms over his head, chest swelling with a deep breath of crisp air. The wind swept down from the northern forest, tugging at his hair and trying to throw it in his eyes. He was too happy to mind it. With a satisfied huff from the stretch, he let his arms swing down. His knuckles brushed Kurogane’s and with a smile he let his pinky twine around the ninja’s own.

“Hm?” Kurogane looked away from their kid, red eyes questioning. 

Fai let his happiness fill him, beaming up at the ninja.

“Nothing.”

* * *

The picnic was a huge success.

Mokona barfed up a blanket for them, large and thick enough to block the dew from the grass. Where it had come from, well… Fai didn’t bother to ask. He lazed upon it, humming and soaking up the warm rays. Kurogane’s shadow fell across his face, guarding his eyes from the sun. Fai swore it was intentional, but goodness knew if he said anything the ninja would move just to spite him for daring to think he was considerate.

Tsubasa adventured around them, Mokona hot on the boy’s heels at all times. He hunted for bugs, picked flowers, and hid behind rocks and trees and all other manner of nature. It took quite a bit of convincing to get him to come sit for a few minutes to eat his lunch. Even then, he just picked at the fruit, saying he wasn’t very hungry.

Fai would have been off put by that, the child had been eating heartily so far, but Tsubasa was as energetic as ever. When Fai deemed he could be done eating, the boy launched himself off into the tall grass with a joyous scream.

A moment later Fai flew to his feet, Kurogane right beside him, when a huge gasp sounded from where Tsubasa had gone.

“Tsu? What happened, are you okay?” he demanded in a rush.

Tsubasa hadn’t gone very far. He stood stock still, facing away from them. He didn’t answer.

“Kid?” Kurogane’s eyes searched the area, but there was no visible threat. They stepped closer, cautious.

Tsubasa was shaking. Fai’s heart fluttered with anxiety.

And then ever so slowly, Tsubasa turned around.

Fai almost fell to his knees in relief. A noise of surprise fell past his lips and Kurogane let out a ‘huh’ as well.

A gargantuan butterfly had alighted itself right above the boy’s eye, wings opening and closing languidly. Tsubasa’s eyes were as wide as could be, flickering between his guardians and the insect making itself at home on his face. Fai could make out elation etched into his expression, but also something that edged on overwhelmed. 

The butterfly dipped a wing down and it covered nearly all of the child’s face. Each red streaked wing had to be the size of Fai’s hand.

“Ah… ah?” the small sound came from the boy. He didn’t appear to know what to do.

“Shit kid, I thought something bad happened,” Kurogane grumbled, dropping out of his defensive stance. “That’s not going to hurt you, you know.”

Fai grinned, patting the ninja’s arm.

“Oh, I don’t know. That thing is big enough to pick Tsubasa up and fly away with him.”

Tsubasa’s eyes got even wider, brows quirking in distress. His hands crept up to twist in his clothes, a little hum shaking out of him. He clearly couldn’t tell that Fai was joking.

The magician caved, feeling a twinge of regret at the jest. He slid himself forward and onto his knees in front of where Tsubasa stood rigidly.

“I’m kidding, love. But it is a very big butterfly, isn’t it? It must have liked your Sakura flowers, hmm? They look awfully real,” the mage reached one hand out to untangle tiny fingers from the dress before it could wrinkle. The other hand gingerly brushed at the boy’s skin right in front of the butterfly, pushing back under its legs and encouraging it to change its perch.

The creature obediently lifted its delicate legs to cling to Fai’s hand instead. 

Tsubasa deflated, stepping back and rubbing where the butterfly had been.

“It tickles,” he mumbled. “Super tickly,” and then he was over it, peering close and raising one finger to poke at the bright wings.

“Ah, careful. We need to be very very gentle with butterflies. We don’t want to hurt them on accident. They’re fragile.”

The three-year-old nodded, mouth pressed in a serious line.

“I know. Mama tells me.”

Fondness and a bit of a distant ache settled in Fai’s chest.

“Of course she did. Sakura knew all about being gentle,” the mage spoke to himself. He raised his voice, “Your Mama loves all living things, right? She is so nice. Kuro-puppy and I miss her,” it hurt to talk of her this way, but was also a release to be able to say how he honestly felt.

“I miss Mama too…” Tsubasa admitted, his young voice innocently sad. “But… But if Fai misses Mama I can give him a hug?”

This boy would kill him. Fai shut his eyes tightly, then opened them and wiggled his finger to help the butterfly into the air. With his hands now free, he folded Tsubasa into a soft embrace.

“Always.”

* * *

It was late in the afternoon when they packed up to head home. Their shadows trailed long and purple behind them, the air taking on a chill. It wasn’t enough to be able to see their breath, but it was close. Tsubasa had fussed over wearing his coat, a strange change in his attitude. He dragged his feet up the steady hill, his usual energy gone. He didn’t want to hold anyone’s hand. He didn’t want Mokona to sit on his shoulder.

Fai and Kurogane kept their eye on him, but other than being in a poor mood about leaving the park, there didn’t seem to be anything overtly wrong.

Until Tsubasa stopped in the middle of the sidewalk and stomped, his face crumpling.

“I don’t wanna!” 

Fai turned, glad to have the glaring sunset out of his eyes for a moment.

“Don’t want to what? Go back?” Kurogane frowned. “Its time for dinner kid. And maybe a bath,” he continued, eyeing the grass stains and strawberry juice smattered across the boy’s front.

“No- I don’t want to. I want to go home. I want Daddy! I don’t like it-“ his rant was broken off by sudden tears. “I don’t like it.”

“Kid…” 

Fai’s hands curled into fists. Had he ruined everything by talking about Sakura? 

Mokona pushed close to his ear, its own pressed low.

“Tsubasa is angry and scared and confused,” Mokona whispered just loud enough for Kurogane to catch.

“Kid, come on. We’re almost there and then we can have a bite to eat and read. You’re tired.”

“Not tired,” the boy sobbed.

Fai watched as Kurogane strode back and swept the child off his feet and into his arms. Tsubasa didn’t try to get away, but he didn’t raise his arms to hold on either. He let himself flop limply against the ninja’s chest, hiccups rocking him.

Stomach churning, Fai followed them up the hill.

Tsubasa didn’t stop crying.

Not when they got back to the apartment.

Not when they tempted him with his favorite dinner. He didn’t stop crying to eat.

He settled slightly in the bath, staring listlessly at the wall with puffy eyes. But the moment he was out of the water the bawling returned.

Thinking he was bothered by the cold, Kurogane wrapped him in both towels and then in the warmest outfit they had for him. He dried the boy’s hair the best he could, carrying him to the bedroom and settling him into the nest of blankets Fai had busied himself with making.

“Kuro-sama…?” Fai said uncertainly. He knew nothing of children. Tsubasa had cried in the past days, yes. But never like this. Never for so long. What was wrong? This had to go beyond missing one’s parents… didn’t it? The mage had left this up to Kurogane. He was the one who understood what Tsubasa needed most of the time.

“I don’t know,” the ninja conceded quietly. “Kid, you have to tell us what’s wrong or we can’t help you.”

Tsubasa turned wet, pleading eyes up at him and sobbed.

“You’re breaking my heart…” Fai sat beside him and went to put a hand on the boy’s chest.

The moment he made contact, Fai straightened, alarmed.

“Kuro-sama he’s fighting the magic,” the words tumbled out of this mouth. Why hadn’t he checked this sooner? “There’s so much energy fighting for dominance in his body I’m surprised he hasn’t gotten a fever yet. Do you feel sick, Tsubasa?”

Kurogane scowled, crossing his arms and leaning over the bed. Magic wasn’t something he could fix.

The miserable boy nodded.

“What hurts? Your tummy? Your head?” Fai rubbed a tender hand through the child’s damp hair, hoping it would soothe him.

More nodding. More hiccups.

“If he is overcoming the Cradle Pool’s magic, he’s in for a hell of a growth spurt,” Fai turned, a warning only for the ninja’s ears.

“Can you knock him out or something? He doesn’t need this,” there was pain in the lines of Kurogane’s face.

Fai was conflicted. The constant crying was torture for everyone. Mokona wanted to be close, but the amount of emotional distress the boy was putting out was making the creature nauseated. Kurogane told the manju to stay in the kitchen for the time being. Putting Tsubasa under would save him unnecessary pain, but…

“Honestly, Kuro-sama, its- I’m hesitant to place him under any more magical strain. That’s what causing this in the first place. Adding a spell to what’s already too much for him to handle doesn’t sound like the right answer.”

Kurogane reached down and picked Tsubasa back up, nest of blankets and all, taking his place on the bed. He wrapped the child loosely and let him rest against him. Tsubasa barely registered the change, only mumbling in between sobs. His little chest stuttered.

“Look at me.”

Fai ripped his watery eyes off their little one to meet Kurogane’s.

“If he doesn’t have to be awake for this, he shouldn’t be. I won’t sleep until he’s settled and god knows you won’t either. Stop dragging it out and thinking you’re going to hurt him. He’s already hurting. You can help. So, shut up and do it,” he said bluntly, his eyes fierce. 

The magician blinked, a tear slipping down his cheek.

“But what if-“

“Mage,” that was a growl.

Swallowing, Fai reached out, tracing a spell into the air above Tsubasa. He fed it his own magic hesitantly, little by little as not to have any unnecessary excess.

The boy’s cries slowed, changing to hitched breathing before he finally fell silent. His eyelids drooped, fluttering up only once before shutting fully. His head lolled onto the ninja’s collarbone.

Fai let his hand fall, the glowing runes in the air fading into nothingness.

“Its only enough to let him sleep for now… Its not holding him unconscious come morning. That’s too much,” he dared Kurogane to argue with him.

The man did no such thing. He gave a short nod.

“Get the damn manju back in here and we’re all going to bed. Who the hell knows how long that’ll last.”

Fai dipped his head, pausing to brush the back of his hand against Tsubasa’s forehead. There was still a war waging under his skin, but it was deeper. Muted by the power of his sleeping spell. It would have to do for now.

He left the room, heart aching. 

They were in for a long night.


	5. The Third Time's (not) the Charm

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Kurogane and Fai (and probably Mokona at this point) would love nothing more than to be able to kill Fei Wang all over again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oops, my hand slipped.

Fai didn’t recall exactly when it was he fell asleep but he for sure knew the exact moment he woke up.

A shriek sent his heart racing into overdrive, and before he could do anything more than snap his eyes open in concern and confusion (that wasn’t little Tsu’s voice, but it wasn’t grown Syaoran’s either) something, no, _someone,_ was thrashing. A fist flew by his face, blankets thrown everywhere. One went up over his head as he ducked. Kurogane’s warning shout cut through the screaming. A large hand grabbed his bicep and yanked him down into the mattress. Half a second later flames scorched the wall behind him.

“Kid, stop!” 

Fai was disoriented. This was the worst wake-up call ever.

The screaming stopped though, and Fai finally got the chance to sit up and just goddamn see what the situation was.

Tsubasa was standing near the end of the bed on top of the blankets, face twisted in terror and chest heaving. He had cast a spell at Fai. There was no recognition in his eyes. No love for them. He must be at least six or seven years old.

Fai couldn’t breathe. There was grief in the way the child in front of him held himself, arms raised but body half curled away from them. Defensive. Frightened.

“Kid…” Kurogane’s spoke to Tsubasa like he was a cornered animal. He was probably right. “You’re okay. Look around, there’s no danger here. No one is going to hurt you.”

The boy’s breathing didn’t calm. His amber eyes flicked around the room, hesitated on Mokona, then away again. To both men who have not moved a muscle. He swallowed visibly.

“Where’s Sakura?” the words came out choked. One of his hands tightened into a fist. 

“Tsubasa-“ Fai broke off when the boy flinched away from him in dismay. “Syaoran…?” he tried, heart in his throat.

The boy trembled, and then something in his shoulders settled. The confusion overtook the fear.

“What happened? Where am I?” he breathed, amber eyes boring into blue.

“Sakura is safe. I give you my word. I swear she is alright, Syaoran. You saved her,” Fai pacified. He was seven then. From the way he woke up though, he likely couldn’t remember very far after his first encounter with Fei Wang. Satisfaction at knowing the man was dead bubbled up fiercely. 

“Settle down, kid. I know you’re confused and you probably don’t remember us, but I need you to trust what I am telling you. You’re safe and so is the princess. She’s back in Clow with her parents. Everyone is fine.”

Syaoran didn’t move for a while and neither did the rest of them, not willing to accidentally spook him. 

Ever so slowly his arms lowered. His eyes were red rimmed.

“I don’t…” his words were slow. Careful. “I don’t understand. I don’t- I don’t know you… But I don’t think you’re lying. I just- I don’t understand. I _don’t_ know you,” he sounded like he was trying to reason with himself. “But I feel like I do.”

Fai let out a silent sigh of relief. They could work with this. Mokona was right. Whatever the Cradle Pool’s magic had done, Syaoran’s heart still remembered for him when his mind could not.

“That’s good, kid. That’s real good,” Kurogane praised. He held out a hand and gestured for the child to come closer. “You’re going to fall off the bed like that.”

Syaoran hesitated, then shuffled a little closer to them, lowering to take a seat on the comforter.

“What- What is going on?”

The magician settled himself against the wall, unsure where to start.

“You’re normally older than this,” he began. “Fifteen. The three of us and Mokona have been together for some time, traveling. But in our… travels together we found something called The Cradle Pool. It was rumored to be like a fountain of youth,” Fai sighed. “There was an accident. It made you young again. You’ve lost a lot of your memory. It does seem to be temporary. You spent the last four days as a three-year-old.”

Syaoran’s brows furrowed, a familiar look of intense thinking. He bit his lip. The boy watched as Mokona padded closer, stepping over folds in the covers. He moved minutely closer, allowing Mokona to put its paws on his knee.

“I’m fifteen… and Sakura- the death seal is gone? I believe you but I’m missing so much. It was an accident that I’m young again? What happened?”

Mokona chimed in before anyone else could answer, “Syaoran was pulled in! It was scary!”

“The water pulled me in?” Syaoran muttered, frowning. “Sakura said water loved me…”

“Different water, different attitude I should think. But honestly, it seemed like this particular pond liked you a little too much. We had to fight to get you out, after all,” Fai smiled when that got the boy to perk up and look at them again.

This was good progress. The stress was falling away from his small shoulders. And from Fai’s.

“We’re not in Clow. But we’re not home either. Why… Why am I with you?” Syaoran looked apologetic but there was a stubbornness in his eyes. He wanted answers he had no idea would take ages to give.

At a loss, the magician glanced to Kurogane for help. How to explain without making him even more confused, or worse, upset?

The ninja propped an arm up on his knee and frowned.

“That is a hell of a long story, kid. Do you trust that I’ll give you the truth if I tell you the short version?

Syaoran nodded, all attention on the larger man.

“In order to save the princess, you needed to travel worlds. We’re your traveling companions. You managed to go back in time and save Sakura before the death seal was ever placed on her. It worked, but there was a price. You had to leave her behind in Clow and keep traveling. We decided to stick with you.”

Well that was an _exceedingly_ simplified version of the events of the past ten years or so. Fai couldn’t have been more impressed.

Mokona crawled up onto the boy’s leg.

“Mokona helps everybody jump worlds. Yuuko made me so Syaoran could do what Syaoran needed to do,” the creature chirped.

“The time witch did?” Syaoran asked in surprise. “That’s- That feels weird. All of this is strange. I just met her last week? But that’s wrong. I- she just treated my… I don’t remember your names, even though I feel like I know you. I’m sorry. This must be such a mess.”

Fai waved his apology away. His heart felt lighter being able to talk things out with Syaoran again. He had been an incredible delight at three, but Syaoran would be able to tell them if something was hurting now.

“Do you mind?” the magician leaned forward, asking permission before he touched the child. At the boy’s nod, he lay his palm on his forehead. “Hm, well The Cradle Pool’s magic is still hard at work in there. It feels less though. I can’t quite tell if its naturally wearing off or if you’re fighting back with your own power, Syaoran. How do you feel? You were pretty sick last night.”

Syaoran opened his mouth to answer, distracted by the touch.

“I-um. Oh, I feel alright. Its… The last thing I remember was being very hurt. So, I feel much better than that.”

Fai pursed his lips. That wasn’t an answer.

“Just tell us straight up if you’re felling crappy,” Kurogane bit out.

“I’m kind of achy,” Syaoran said in a hurry, a flush taking over his cheeks. 

“Okay, achy we can deal with. Let us know if anything changes, alright? We’re here to help,” Fai pulled his hand back, Syaoran’s hair falling back into place.

A grumble filled the quiet room.

Syaoran looked sheepish.

“Maybe I’m hungry too.”

* * *

This Syaoran was so quiet. 

The apartment felt unnaturally still after the chaos of the last few days. Fai’s ears were ringing in the silence. A quick breakfast of yesterday’s leftovers was heated up and they migrated from the kitchen to the table. Numerous glances were exchanged over the boy’s head as he ate.

Syaoran stared into his bowl like it was a puzzle he just couldn’t figure out. 

Fai couldn’t stand how at seven years old Syaoran already felt so burdened. So serious and withdrawn. Granted the last thing he remembered was highly traumatic, so it really should not be a surprise.

“Listen, kid…” Kurogane pushed his empty bowl away, his chopsticks over the brim. “We know you. You bottle things up. Its not healthy. We’ve had this discussion a hundred times and I don’t want to have to give it to you a dozen more before you’re a teenager again. Talk to us.”

Fai nodded in support of the sentiment, leaning forward onto his elbows.

Syaoran bit his lip and looked down. Mokona hopped over and jumped into his free hand.

“Everyone here loves Syaoran very much,” the magical creature hugged his small thumb. “Everyone wants Syaoran to be happy and ask questions if Syaoran wants.”

The boy’s face didn’t move much, but he blinked rapidly, fighting a wave of sudden tears.

“Sakura is okay?” the query was hardly more than a breath. At Mokona’s enthusiastic nod, Syaoran drooped a little. “I should be happy… but I’m- I do feel relieved. But I feel guilty too. For having to leave. My parents. For, for good right? That was the deal I made with the time witch. I was going to go back to Clow to stop the seal from k-killing Sakura. So I had to leave them. And now you say I had to leave Sakura too? I just. You guys must have known my parents if you were sent with me, or maybe you knew Sakura? I feel so safe here. Like its home, but. But I couldn’t even remember your names or anything. I look at you and its all blurry. I think there’s laughing. Ice cream. I feel good, but I feel like I shouldn’t. Its like there’s something I should feel bad about, but I can’t find it.”

It was tragic how true most of that was, and it weighed heavy on Fai’s chest. Syaoran really didn’t need to deal with all this right now. He would be back to his proper age soon enough, (probably) and he may not even remember his time as a child again. The mage pushed his feelings aside, leaning forward and catching the boy’s eye.

“I want you to listen to what I am saying, Syaoran,” he said softly. “Mokona is right. Everyone at this table cares for you so much. And for your parents, and Sakura and her family. Kuro-pippi and I are here with you by choice. You’re kind of our kid now. Things aren’t always easy, but for right now there is nothing for you to worry about. You’re going to shake off this enchantment in due time and all your memories will return. There’s never been a case where that didn’t happen. Until then we aren’t in any hurry to go anywhere and you can just enjoy yourself, okay? You can relax. You deserve it. You have worked very hard.”

Kurogane grunted in agreement.

“So why don’t we clean up this food and we can get you another round of clothes?” Fai smiled. “You sprouted up so much overnight we don’t have anything else for you to wear. Half what we have is much too big and the other half is too little.”

Syaoran took it in, his frown easing into something calmer.

“Okay. Thank you, Fai.”

Mokona cheered at the change in mood and they cleared the table, Fai chatting about everything and nothing all at once. Syaoran hung onto his every word, eagerness to learn about this world etched into his every move.

“Oh, thank you very much, Syaoran. I’ll take those,” Fai reached for the bowls being offered to him.

Syaoran grinned up at him.

And then he gasped, eyes growing wide in shock. His body froze, bowls still in his suddenly stiff hands. The boy twitched, and with it came a flicker of red. On his feet. On his hands. Creeping up his neck and over his cheeks. His left eye dulled. The other was filled with panic.

“Syaoran!”

Kurogane was beside them in a flash.

“What on earth-“

And then it was gone. 

The bowls were yanked from his hands. Syaoran stumbled a step and heaved in a breath, fingers coming up to drift over his eye.

Fai’s heart pounded in a nauseating manner. What was that? His hands fluttered around the child, afraid to touch, afraid to scare him further. Kurogane did not have the same reservations.

Kneeling, he took Syaoran’s chin in his hand and steered the boy in his direction.

“Wh-what? I don-“ Syaoran fisted his hands in Kurogane’s sleeves.

The ninja stared into the seven-year-old’s eyes, one hand coming up under his arm to steady him. Mokona landed on his shoulder, ears pinned low on its head.

“Mage, what the hell was that?” Kurogane demanded.

Fai didn’t remember putting the bowls on the counter, but they were there and he was down on his knees as well. He put a hand to the winded child’s cheek, searching for any hint of malicious magic. There was nothing. Syaoran’s own magical signature felt the same as ever, though it was rippling with distress. The cool swirl that he recognized as the Cradle Pool’s residual influence was weaker than ever. The flicker of red on Syaoran’s skin had been there and gone too quickly for him to get any read on. He hadn’t felt any magical trace at all. They weren’t something he had seen before.

“I don’t know. It doesn’t feel like anything’s changed. Did it hurt, Syaoran?”

Brows pinched in confusion, Syaoran shook his head slowly.

“No, I- I don’t know what happened. I was fine and then I was scared and everything was heavy and I couldn’t see. I should have been able to see him? Who?” the child looked so lost, looking to them for answers.

And then it was back, stealing the air from his lungs. His fingers went slack in Kurogane’s shirt, the ninja lurching to grab him under the arms before he fell. The red snaked over his skin, curling in intricate patterns.

“Kid!”

They stayed this time, and Fai’s stomach curdled in understanding.

They were binding sigils.

“Shit!” Fai could feel Syaoran’s own magical presence waning, the power retreating deep into his core. This shouldn’t be happening. The sigils weren’t exuding any energy at all, yet Syaoran reacted as if they were active. Strong.

“Come on, mage, give me something!” Kurogane let the limp child lean on him, keeping him upright.

Syaoran’s eyes were wide, frantic. He looked older. Overwhelmed. Guilty.

Fai cursed again under his breath. There was no reason for this to be happening. He couldn’t find a trace of anything malevolent. No foreign spells. No triggers. Nothing.

“Syaoran has been seven years old twice,” Mokona hung tightly to Kurogane’s collar, peering down. “Mokona doesn’t think the Cradle Pool can tell the difference, but Syaoran’s body remembers both times.”

Kurogane narrowed his eyes at the creature.

“Are you telling me the kid’s doing this to himself?”

Fai blinked.

“Not consciously…” he murmured, ghosting his hand over the boy’s cheek. “But these are Fei Wang’s doing, and he’s dead. There’s no power backing them. They shouldn’t be doing anything to him, but its possible that Syaoran remembers being bound by them and cannot bring himself to fight back. Its rooted too deeply in his memories for the Cradle Pool to override. Like him feeling like he knows us.”

“Damnit, kid,” the ninja sighed.

Syaoran’s eyes watered, the left one lifeless.

Standing, Kurogane hefted the child up onto his hip. Fai hastened to join him, moving his hand to hold Syaoran’s instead. He gave it a reassuring squeeze.

“Did you hear that, Syaoran? These things are useless. Fei Wang is gone. I can move your hand, see? If the sigils were active, I wouldn’t be able to do that. You can move if you want to, but I understand if its too much.”

A tear spilled down Syaoran’s cheek and Fai would kill Fei Wang all over again if he could. Then the small hand squeezed back and Fai’s heart leapt. It was just the slightest amount of pressure, but it was there. 

“There you go, see? You’re okay,” he soothed.

Mokona hopped onto the boy’s shoulder, nuzzling under his ear. Kurogane held him secure to his chest and relocated them to the couch. 

“Manju, go get us all the books from the library.”

Syaoran’s breathing finally started to slow, his eyes following Mokona’s retreating form out of the room. They flicked away to the window when the magical creature turned the corner, taking in the morning sunlight. They traced the words of the books Kurogane narrated to him, the ninja challenging Syaoran to correct him if he made mistakes or if the boy recognized the language. He didn’t, but he huffed a few times in what may have been an attempt to talk.

It took over an hour for the sigils to recede, leaving behind a boy who was both bewildered and fatigued. Kurogane and Fai took him outside to the inn’s garden for some fresh air to clear his lungs and his mind. The previous hour was nothing but a dark smear in his memory.

The marks returned in the early afternoon.

Fai wasn’t sure he would survive this. Kurogane took it in stride, his confidence that the kid would pull through each hurdle unshakable. Fai knew Syaoran would make it. It was his own heart he doubted. Even the slightest expression of fear or discomfort on the boy’s face was a knife between his ribs.

If Fai thought he was spoiling Syaoran before, it was nothing compared to today. He made all his favorite foods. Provoked Kurogane into chasing him around the apartment just to make Syaoran laugh. Narrated through every book he knew Syaoran loved that Mokona had in storage. And then when he ran out of ideas, he left on his own to pick up ice cream. They were getting lower on funds but Fai could not bring himself to care. 

He returned, ice cream packed in a cold bag, to a sigil covered Syaoran on his hands and knees in the middle of the living room. The only thing stopping him from dropping his bags and darting to help him was Kurogane’s raised hand.

“You’re a tough kid. You’re not gunna let shit like this get the best of you, huh?” the ninja’s voice was proud.

Syaoran was shaking, but his head jerked up at that. His mouth moved but no sound made it out. His face was creased with effort but he wasn’t crying.

“That’s what I thought.”

A shudder ran thought him and Kurogane reached out from where he sat in front of the boy, prodding him into sitting back before he fell.

There was a choked sound. Fai felt the handle of the ice cream bag bite into his palm.

“He made more of me,” Syaoran’s voice was barely audible at this distance. “He made- I didn’t want him to. I didn’t want any of… What happened to them?”

Kurogane stilled, then tapped a knuckle to his knee absently.

“Don’t worry about the black-haired kid. He’s fine. He’s good. Happy, sorta. You two check in on each other sometimes through the manju. He has one too. I’d have you two talk so you can see he’s alright but,” he shook his head once. “I think it would confuse you more. Your head is a mess right now kid, I don’t think that would help.”

He didn’t mention the other Syaoran. 

“And Sakura is okay?” 

Fai had lost count of how many times they’d answered that question already.

“Healthy as a horse and missing you, kid. Now come on, the mage is back with the damn ice cream,” he got to his feet and helped haul Syaoran up by the arm. The boy wavered, holding on to Kurogane’s wrist with a desperation that was reflected in his eyes. “Let’s hope he doesn’t try to kill us with sweet crap.”

Syaoran trembled where he stood, mostly dead weight and clinging to the ninja.

“Kuro-sama…” Fai was all for encouraging Syaoran to move on his own. He really was. The kid wasn’t really one to be babied. He was stubborn and independent, and they’d indulged in coddling him for days now. Fai couldn’t bring himself to be hard on him though. The magician had to keep reminding himself that even though he looked seven, the boy with one blank eye still had the mentality of a fourteen-year-old. He looked so small.

However, he could tell that even if this was technically a teenager, he was at his limit.

“He’s fine, mage. Go. We’re right behind you.”

Fai shuffled towards the kitchen, not taking his blue eyes off the scene.

Syaoran’s breaths were coming too fast, turning into wheezes.

“Kid, you look at me and listen good, alright?”

The boy’s eyes flicked upwards.

“You beat this. You worked your ass off and sacrificed a hell of a lot and saved the princess. Helped save a lot more lives than just hers. You won. So this? This shit is nothing,” he paused, his posture slumping slightly. “But if you feel like crap that’s okay. You can feel like crap and not call this defeat.”

Tears dripped off Syaoran’s chin, his face crumpling.

“Its so heavy,” he hiccupped. “I can’t-“

“Alright.”

He was up in the ninja’s arms before he could finish, exhausted.

The ice cream melted on the counter.

* * *

Fai had been right about one thing. The fever came shortly after a few bites of dinner.

“His body is just under too much stress,” Fai sat by the boy’s side on the bed, running his hand through Syaoran’s hair. He was out for the moment, too tired to stay awake any longer. The binding runes had made a handful of appearances throughout the day but were gone for the time being.

With the kid out of commission for the night, Kurogane left. Fai saw him take one of their last map cards on his way out. The magician couldn’t blame him. Kurogane had been holding them together for days on end. Sometimes you need a break, and this wasn’t the time for alcohol.

Fai fell asleep before he returned to the apartment, Mokona keeping watch over both of them.

He was there, however, when Fai awoke slowly the next morning. Everything was quiet, peaceful. It was almost enough for his to forget the violent awakening he received the previous morning and the heart wrenching struggle of the day.

And then he pushed himself up to his elbows and looked over at his family.

For once Kurogane was still asleep, back to the wall and half propped up on the wall. Mokona snored away in the crook of his elbow. And Syaoran… Syaoran had grown again.

Fai had no real frame of reference for how old he was. Eleven, he guessed. Twelve? His hair stuck to his forehead, slick with sweat. The fever raging under his skin was worse, and even as Fai sat up fully to take it in, the red sigils flickered on his face for a moment and away again. Syaoran didn’t so much as twitch.

Maybe that was for the better.

Fai hovered over him most of the day, but Syaoran never woke. Kurogane spent a significant amount of time in the inn’s courtyard practicing with his sword. He was always within calling distance though, so Fai didn’t feel completely abandoned. Mokona alternated between the three of them, a constant comforting presence. Always offering to call the other Mokona if they decided Syaoran needed help. Fai resisted for now. Resisted calling for the town’s doctor whose name he had forgotten. No one in this world wielded magic. This would not be something a resident of this world could help.

Not that Fai was really doing anything either. It was a waiting game. The worst waiting game ever.

The sun crossed the sky and was replaced by the moon, a sharp crescent in a sea of deep purple. Syaoran did not stir.

Kurogane came to bed. 

Mokona nodded off on Syaoran’s belly.

Fai’s eyelids drooped. He jerked upwards, neck stiff, and then shifted to lay back. He wouldn’t sleep. The lights were still on. The windows still cracked for air. There was still food out on the counter from the occasional snack he allowed himself. 

The apartment was wide open. He would not sleep.

Fai woke up to two clear, amber eyes gazing down at him.

“Fai?”


	6. Wake into this World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In which Syaoran drifts, dreams, wakes, and repeats.

Syaoran shouldn’t be doing this. He knew that. He could feel it in the way the woman watched him run out of the library. He could feel it in the way Mokona clung silently to his shoulder, radiating worry. In the way his stomach curled at the thought of Fai and Kurogane arriving to pick him up and finding him missing. In his heart. In his head. In the damp grass at the edge of the water. He shouldn’t be here.

It was in the way the spirits looked at him, guileless. Too innocent. They were acting and he knew that too.

But what if?

What if they knew something? Anything. 

Anything was better than what he had currently. A year’s worth of searching, studying, hunting, and investigating had rewarded him with a tremendous feeling of failure and nothing more. He missed Sakura. He ached for his parents. He wasn’t hungry. He couldn’t sleep even on the best of nights. He was falling apart and his companions could only watch.

“What do you know of soul magic?”

The spirits whispered amongst themselves, slipping closer. Mokona huddled into his neck.

Either they didn’t know, or they weren’t telling, and something deep inside Syaoran cracked. Crumbled beyond repair. 

Words came out of his mouth purely by reflex. The world was blurring around him, a dark haze. His hands were cold, but he was burning inside. It was too much to contain, creeping up his throat and spilling over his lashes. His numb feet turned him back towards the town.

And straight to Kurogane and Fai.

Syaoran may have apologized. He felt removed from his own body. There was no room for him in there anyway.

And then something had him by the wrist, a sensation like static crackling under his skin. It was instinct that allowed him any semblance of counterattack, but in the end it didn’t matter. There was water in his eyes and in his nose and clogging his throat. The fire inside him was extinguished only to be replaced by a flood.

Everything twisted. Syaoran watched colors flash and swirl from under the surface. The world was warping, dimming, cooling.

Arms. Hands too big to be known. A wash of sounds, of light, of movement. He was heavy. Weighed down. Weary.

Syaoran drifted.

Sunk.

The darkness around him pressed inwards, into his heart, into his mind. Pressed relentlessly until darkness was all that existed. Everything faded, retreating so deeply that almost nothing could be reached. All that was left was warm hands. Soft lullabies. Sunlight and laughter and safety. 

Syaoran rested here. His head filled with a slow jumble of half remembered dreams.

Waking was hard. This world was too big and too solid compared to the gentle dimness he was pulled from.

But there were soft hands here too. Large, strong hands to hold his own, to carry him, to protect and treasure. There was love in this house. In the blankets in their bed. In the hot food on his plate. There was love in the words on the air and in the feather-light touches to his cheek. 

Syaoran filled himself with it. Soaked it in. Basked in the safety and joy of this place. There was no fear of falling for someone would catch him.

The world outside darkened and there were sparks in the sky and at his fingertips.

But the light would return, bringing with it a freedom to move. Space to discover. Wonders to unearth.

Syaoran may not have a name for this place, but it was good.

It was good. 

It was good even when he wasn’t.

Aches crept between his joints, a warning that this was not to last. It snaked into his bones and coiled in his belly. Syaoran rebelled in earnest, pushing, pulling at his power the only way he knew how. Comforting bodies surrounded him. Soothing water. Velvet blankets. He ached, but he was loved.

Pressed against the strongest heartbeat he knew, a mist seeped over him. The pain turned tail in the face of such kindness and peace fell where there had been turmoil.

Syaoran dreamed.

Dreamed of sand and water and reflecting flickers from candles. Of scorching days and chilled nights and the heavens alight with infinite stars. Of intricate rugs and soft cotton tassels, deep blues trimmed with gold. Of the phantom feeling of hands smaller than his. Delicate fingers clenched in victory. Of bittersweet company. Of newfound joy and newfound loneliness.

Of sudden terror and grief.

Waking into this world was jarring. Too crisp and vivid after wandering through such a fantasy.

He did not know these two strangers, but he yearned for them nonetheless. And he was rewarded. Gentle hands on his shoulders, his back, his hair. Words of comfort. Of solace. Warm food in his bowl and cool drink in his glass. He did not know these strangers, but he wanted to. He would.

Until the universe shifted beneath his feet, images of cruel faces, of mirror images, of a boy so alone.

He was heavy with the weight of this betrayal. Of the misuse of his wishes. He could not move. He would not be allowed. And yet the warm hands stayed. Bolstering. Steadying. Strengthening. Syaoran defied the dark shadow and pushed and pushed and pushed. The words that fell on his ears were fond. Proud.

And when he could push no more they were merciful.

The darkness pressed on him once more. Too all encompassing to ignore. Stretching out with no boundaries and no end.

This was not rest but this was not motion.

A new fire raged under his skin, erasing all but the tender strokes of cool fingers over his scalp. 

The boy sunk further. Down, down, until he’d gone so far that he’d reached the other side. 

And then he surfaced.

* * *

Syaoran blinked against the light streaming over his face, eyebrows scrunching in annoyance. It was a rare occurrence to be woken like this. Fai was usually adamant about closing up properly at night no matter where they were. The shades only stayed open a little if the weather was nice and the windows were cracked.

It seemed too cold for that, cool morning air crawling over the bed and down to the floor. Had that woken him, or had it been the sun? Birds twittered from the tree in the courtyard. It could have been that too, he supposed.

The boy shifted in the blankets, thin sheets tangling around his ankles. He reached up to rub at his face. Scrub the sleep from his eyes. He felt odd. It was easy to move, easy to deftly remove his legs from the confines of the bedcovers, easy to breathe, to sit up. Easy to think, his mind clear and unhindered. The fact that he noticed the ease of it all was the part that was strange. Had it been difficult before?

He pushed that quandary to the side when he caught sight of the scene around him.

Both Fai and Kurogane were still asleep. With the exception of a few restless nights, and those were nights mind you, Syaoran had never been the only one awake. Not like this. Mokona too, was curled on his pillow, but that was a common sight. 

How early was it that he had beat-

Oh.

Oh, oh, _oh…_

_Warm hands around his. Wind rushing around him. Swinging up to the sky. A scream of pure delight._

Something swelled in his chest, but it didn’t burn this time. It was something sweet and fond and dear. How long had it been since he was able to experience that kind of unconditional care? 

Maybe not as long as he had thought. Maybe it had been right in front of him and he’d been too focused on other things to see it.

Syaoran crossed his legs beneath him, fingers twisting around each other. Amber eyes gazed at his family. They loved him. He knew that. It was impossible to dispute but… to know you are loved and to feel loved were two very different things. 

He sat in the early morning calm, unmoving, for a long time.

Syaoran knew they had been worrying about him. Knew it, and had been only been using that knowledge to push himself to work harder. Using the guilt to drive him. To seek results even more desperately. Maybe if he finally found something, if only he could _find something,_ he could erase the stress from their faces. Somewhere in the back of his mind he knew that was backwards. That it was the overworking that was putting the stress there in the first place, but anything less than working _more_ felt like giving up. The idea of another failure would crush him.

Syaoran pulled his legs up, folding his arms over his knees. He pressed his cheek to his bicep and breathed slow. Breathed in, dew on the grass and the scent of the bakery down the street. Breathed out his disappointment. Breathed in, wavering shadows of the leaves dancing on the windowsill. Breathed out his regrets. Breathed in, birds chasing each other through the foliage and the distant humming of someone’s music. Breathed out his self-imposed deadlines. _Breathed._

This world was quaint. Picturesque. Full of character and kind people and unique architecture. 

When had he stopped noticing things like that?

A bird landed on the windowsill outside, shuffling his wings and cleaning his feathers. An iridescent stripe of green-blue-purple ran from the crest of his forehead to the tip of his tail. It was absolutely stunning.

When had Syaoran buried himself so deeply into trying to save others that he had forgotten to let himself live?

Fai and Kurogane (and Mokona of course) wouldn’t want that. His parents likely wouldn’t either. 

But most importantly, Syaoran realized that _he_ didn’t want that.

A new kind of resolution took root in his chest. Hadn’t Fai once said that there would be hardships on their journey? That there were troubles they couldn’t forget even if they tried, so why dwell on such unhappy things? That they should do their best to make this an enjoyable experience…

Fai hadn’t said it to him. He hadn’t even said it to the other Syaoran, but to Sakura of all people. But he had heard. He had heard but not listened. 

It was time to start listening again.

A heavy wave of cold air pushed itself over the bed and Mokona curled its ears closer in it’s sleep, shivering.

Syaoran carefully crawled over the creature, reaching out to close the window as quietly as he could. It shut with a dull thump, but Mokona did not stir. Syaoran tugged the sheet up over Mokona’s round form, right up to the magical creature’s closed eyes.

When he sat back another pair of eyes opened.

Kurogane did not move, did not blink. He stared, intense red eyes fixed on Syaoran’s face. The boy held his gaze.

_A firm grip. Endless words that matched pictures on a page. A steady heartbeat under his ear._

“Good morning,” Syaoran greeted in a whisper. 

The ninja levered himself upright, eyes narrowing, assessing.

“Good to see you again, kid,” Kurogane said. “You feel alright?”

Syaoran nodded, “I’m fine,” He looked down, then changed his mind and looked back up, putting as much feeling as he could into his tone. “I’m feeling much better. Thank you, Kurogane.”

The man blinked, eyebrows raised. 

It had been much too long since Syaoran had been clear and honest if Kurogane was thrown his much by such a simple thing.

But he smiled, and Syaoran returned it, small but genuine. A hand fell into his hair and scrubbed back and forth and Syaoran let himself soak it in. Let his eyes scrunch shut and let the warmth in his chest out in a soft sound of appreciation. Kurogane’s hand slipped down over his ear to cup his cheek, patting twice before retreating.

“Are you hungry?”

“Yes, very,” Syaoran turned to watch the ninja slide off the end of the bed. “Would you like help?”

Kurogane’s eyes flickered from the boy to the still sleeping magician beside him.

“Nah. You stay there.”

Syaoran nodded. Kurogane’s footsteps moved out of the room as the boy scooted himself closer to Fai. Pale sunlight streaked over the man’s pale face, highlighted his hair in blinding stripes. Syaoran dusted his fingertips over Fai’s own, pillowed next to his head.

_Love in their dances. Love in their hugs. Love in the words in his songs and in the kisses on his cheeks, on his forehead, on his nose._

It was in muted surprise that Syaoran felt his eyes watering. He blinked it away. There was a motion like laughter with no sound, just curled shoulders and a single shake. 

“Fai?” he tried hesitantly.

The mage shifted. His eyebrows furrowed and then smoothed again. Syaoran smiled a little. Fai had always been a heavy sleeper.

“Fai…” 

Fai’s eyelids fluttered, confusion stealing over his face before he was even fully awake. Syaoran let him take his time. The man rolled onto his back and peeked open bleary blue eyes. They widened when they met his own, blinking rapidly.

“Fai?” Syaoran tested to see if the man was really with him. He was often slow to wake, brain lagging behind even when his eyes were open.

Fai stared, his mouth moving but no sound making it past his lips.

“Syaoran?”

The boy smiled down at him, every ounce of gratitude he could muster behind it.

“I’m home,” his voice wavered at the end, and oh, the tears were back. But that was alright because Fai’s eyes were getting damp as well.

The mage reached up and tugged Syaoran down and into an embrace, fingers twisting in his nightshirt and cupping the back of his head.

“Welcome back, love.”

Waking into this world wasn’t so hard.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who stuck with me through the big gap. This story was always very dear to me and was going to get finished, it was just a matter of shoving my other stuff aside and getting back into a Tsubasa mindset.
> 
> There was never an actual end planned out for this fic? I have never done that before, but it let me sit down and write the final chapter with no expectations. It was kind of refreshing. It came out so so so soft and I love it.


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